Aftermath

Gone left?

Today is the last day of counseling where we decide whether I should keep going to the sessions. I'm also entering rehab today.

"Ok Alana this is evaluation day. You have many, many problems in your life and it all begins with your parents divorce", after she said that my parents entered.

"Hi honey"

"You look so different without all your things"

"Yeah hi", I said dryly.

"So since Alana has been here, she keeps mentioning the divorce. It actually took a toll on her. So what happened"

"We were married for 5 years. We got divorced because he had an affair and 2 other kids"

"Look I'm a very wealthy man. I worked my butt off to provide for her and my kid. She pushed me away"

"Uggh what a pitiful excuse"

"Ok so Alana. Which parent do you have the most problems with."

"I would say mom. I really think we both have switched positions. I'm at a point where I'm not stable in my life right now and she is"

"Catherine you were an addict. Correct?"

"Yes I was. I went to rehab and cleaned myself up."

"Alana do you think that with your mom being an addict it affected you"

"In a way I do, but I know my actions are my actions"

"Catherine how do you feel that your daughter is now unstable"

My mom just broke down into tears. She could barely get her words out. When she spoke I could tell that she was heartbroken.

"I feel like it's my fault because I miss the old her. I honestly don't know how we got to this point. A mother knows her child and I know that Alana was hurt inside. I've been to that point before, but I just didn't know what to do."

"So what was your motivation"

"I had to get her help because I want what's best for her. Every mother wants what's best for their children. Now I have full custody of both kids because their dad is not home and I want them to stick together"

"Alana how do you feel about not having your kids now"

"I'm heartbroken because I didn't think I'd be at this point in my life right now. It just make it harder for me to go back to rehab."

"Well we want to bring some people to see you"

I saw JJ and Kristie, which made me get even more emotional.

"Mommy mommy", JJ said running into my arms.

I just couldn't stop crying. I stayed with them for a while. We decided that I should keep going to counseling and we would start again next week.

They dropped me off at rehab to wish me off.

"Well I guess I'm starting over again", I said.

"Yeah just for a fresh new start. We love you honey", my mom and dad stated.

"I love you guys too"

They were about to leave and JJ started crying.

"Can I talk to him for a second.", I asked  mom.

"Of course honey"

"JJ mommy is going on a little vacation and when I get from that vacation we're gonna have fun. Ok"

"No"

"Yes baby. I'm gonna take you to Orlando Florida to visit mickey. That sounds fun"

"Yes wuv you mommy"