My Pathetic Life

February 19, 2020

Wednesday
7:30 am
I ended up falling asleep at around 10:30 pm. I still haven't finished my book and it's getting pretty good. I found out my bonsai tree has a tiny black bug infestation so I brought it downstairs. The caffeine made me more anxious about those damn bugs. I couldn't get spiders out of my head.

I woke up extremely tired. I managed to get out of bed at 6:50 am. My appetite was shit and I only ate half an egg, a few bites of toast, and a few bites of bell pepper. Out the door, on the bus, ugh, school.

Period 1&2
History. We finish the presentation started yesterday. Our teacher is sick and not feeling well. The library is closed for lunch. Ugh.

Period 3
Health. Our teacher is in a bad mood for once. Apparently, 8 people didn't turn in their projects we did last week. She makes us do notes and an 8 sentence paragraph. Easy. Then she gets mad because we didn't put the iPads away correctly. Oh well.

Period 4
Science. I finish my work early. Then I finish an extra credit crossword and read. Again, nothing interesting happens. Boring day.

Lunch
The library is closed so I camp out in the bathroom. I decide to just eat during 7th period. I installed Grammarly this morning so I went through all the previous chapters and checked everything. Y'all better be grateful for the amazing grammar.

Period 5
Math. We start some word problems. I get one wrong on the homework. Technically two but shhh don't tell anyone. I want to keep my A, ok?

Period 6
Guitar. The teacher assigns us Ode To Joy, an easy song on the piano. Does she teach us how to play it? Nope, she plays it for us once and retreats back to her computer. Guess we'll teach ourselves.

The dude next to me starts assigning everyone sexualities, stupid people crap. He points at the dude in front of me, says "Gay", points to himself, says "Straight", and then points at me. I raise my eyebrow. He eyes me warily before saying he doesn't know and moves on. I smirk. He's afraid of insulting me. Hilarious.

He goes on to name almost everyone gay and a few people straight. I try saying calmly that you shouldn't assume sexualities (even though in my head I was cussing him out like there was no tomorrow) but he either didn't hear me or didn't care.

Period 7
English. I smash my finger so hard I see blood under my nail. How you may ask? Well, we have these chairs which is basically a metal frame with two separate pieces of metal for the back and seat. You see, sometimes the corners of the seat will come off because kids abuse these chairs. The chair I happened to sit on had half of the seat coming off its hinges. So when I grabbed the rim to move my chair back, my fingers slipped under the seat and I sat down. Therefore, my weight and the weight of that piece of metal came down on my finger.

Well, it fucking hurt like a bitch so I asked to go to the bathroom in case I started crying or some shit. My hand was literally shaking. Now my teacher is a good teacher, but at that moment I hated her because she insisted I go to the nurse. So I went to the nurse and got ice which just made my finger sting, and came back. My finger still hurts as I'm writing this at 5:00 pm.

     We watched a video called Consent is like Tea or something. It was pretty funny and had a good message. At first, our teacher clicked the original version which started off with

     "You say 'Hey would you like a cup of tea?' They say 'Fuck yes, I would fucking love a cup of tea'"

     She freaked out and someone quickly closed the door in case the principal decided to walk down the hall. Then she put up the clean version. It was funny as hell. I'm going to go watch the original real quick.

3:05 pm
I come home and have a donut. What? I really wanted a donut. Then I sat down and started to type, well, this. My mom was making Frito Pie for dinner, which was basically Fritos (the chips) and chili. It was pretty good. My mom accidentally dropped a whole thing of yogurt on the ground and I helped her clean up.

I want to practice piano. It's been two weeks and I haven't even glanced at what I'm supposed to be doing. God help me. My uncle comes over and says he has a guitar I could have, except its missing a few strings. It's a nice steel-string with a strap and case. I say yes. Duh.

Today has been hella boring. Sorry, there's not much to write down. Also, my memory is shit so if anything interesting happened I probably wouldn't have remembered. Still not surprised people aren't reading this.

I've decided that if I want to cut anywhere, my ankle is my best bet. Easy to pass off, easy to hide.

7:30 pm
I practiced a bit of piano but ended up getting sidetracked and playing a song I found online. Currently, in my room, you guessed it, reading. I need a new story to start on here. I asked my online friend if they want to FaceTime and feeling extremely anxious over there answer. Kill me.

     There is this raw bit at the back of my throat that stings and prevents me from talking too loud (it appeared for no reason??). I'm feeling tired and my head hurts slightly. I don't think I'll last long tonight.

     Why isn't my friend answering, fuck? Did I mess up? Was I too straightforward? Did it sound like I didn't want to? They read it. Why the fuck would they leave me on read? Shit shit shit.

They reply saying sadly they can't. Phew. I read for half an hour before my parents tell me to get off my phone.

     Until tomorrow. Let's see how tonight goes. Stay safe. Ciao.

Current Grades
History
104.3% A+
Health
100% A+
Science
108.8%. A+
Math
95.7%. A
Guitar
98.8% A+
English
97.6% A+