My Pathetic Life

February 21, 2020

Friday
7:30 am
I finished my book last night. I don't remember what time I fell asleep. The book had an amazing ended, making me almost want to cry. But I don't cry anymore. Anyway, I highly recommend it.

     I am again rushing out the door. I spent this morning getting dressed and then sitting on my bed for fifteen minutes, staring at the floor, thinking. I'm worried my teeth are going to rot with my short, inconsistent brushing but something in me doesn't care anymore. I'm worried I'm coming down from my "I want to function" phase.

    I make myself an instant decaf coffee to take to go. Now, I never knew why people didn't like decaf coffee until I took a sip of this. My face wrinkled in disgust. I've only ever had decaf coffee from our Keurig but this instant stuff was shit. I poured the rest down the drain and make it on the bus.

Period 1&2
     History. I walk inside, confused to see people I don't recognize. They look as confused as me. I sit down and they stand idly, not knowing what to do. Finally, our teacher arrives and tells them to take a seat. Three people have to sit on the floor. He mumbles something about their teacher's power being out, which didn't make sense to me, but I ignored it.

     Our teacher asks us all individually what we are doing this weekend. I say I'm probably going to clean my snake's cage.

Pathetic. Do you really think you are going to be productive this weekend? Haha.

     My thoughts are probably true. A few people gasp and say "You have a snake?" My teacher asks what I feed it. I say mice. He asks if they are baby ones (then uses his fingers to emphasize the small size) or full-on ones (he again uses his fingers to demonstrate a size way bigger than any mouse could get). I say full-on. More people gasp. I turn around to the girl behind me and she asks how I can touch the mice. I give her a shit-eating grin and say "They're frozen." Her eyes pop out of her head and I laugh.

     The teacher goes to put on a National Geographic movie, saying if we behave we won't have to do any work. But of course, that's when the foreign kid's teacher walks in saying she's ready for them. A few people groan and the class walks out. Our teacher turns off the movie and instructs us to finish what we were doing yesterday.

     I want to add more detail to mine but I run out of time. My friend comes to wait for me to finish. I finish and we rush out the door and I hope we aren't going to be late.

Me: "You didn't have to wait for me."

Her: "I wanted to."

I smile to myself. She wanted to.

Period 3
     Health. We do a quiz. I feel unusually artistic during this period. I sketch to fill up the empty space in my notebook. An alien with planets coming out of its head.

Period 4
     Science. The hallway to this class is always the worse. I feel my breathing speed up and I shrink in on myself, trying to make myself smaller. To avoid touching people. I sit down tiredly.

     The kid next to me calls my name. I turn my head to look at him.

Him: "Did you get accepted into the school?"

I fumble distractedly with my backpack. I had forgotten about that.

Me: "I don't know. We are waiting for a letter-"

Him: "I got in. Crazy, isn't it?"

My head snapped up.

Me: "How do you know? Did you get a letter?"

Him: "It's on their website. They listed the numbers that got in."

     I immediately pull out my phone and text my dad. Class can't go by fast enough and I throw myself out the door when the bell rings. Straight into the bathroom. I pull out my phone, go to the website, scroll scroll scroll, scan scan scan...