My Pathetic Life

March 4, 2020

Wednesday
6:30 am
I woke up at 6:00 am today from hunger and a depressing dream. Basically, I had gone to the school I applied for on the first day but apparently I didn't get in and was still on the waiting list. So I'm sitting in class when they figure out I'm not meant to be there. This guy who got in from my math class is there as well. Well, they all mock me for not being good enough and treat me like a child. Then for some reason, they call in my history teacher to come pick me up. It was a very strange dream but quite depressing. And my stomach was also about ready to claw it's way out of my body to get some food.

Well, I couldn't go back to sleep and I surprisingly wasn't tired (yet) so I got ready and went downstairs. My parents made an egg and some potatoes so I ate those. My mom asked what I wanted to do with the remaining cupcakes and I decided to take them to school. I packaged them in bags and tied them with a black ribbon.

I walked to the bus. Stupid girl stands in the road again. It's actually pretty warm out today. The sun is shining and I don't feel like I'm going to turn into ice. I try to be careful about not smooshing the cupcakes.

We arrive at the school and I give a cupcake to my friend and her friend. Then I retreat and scroll through my phone until the bell rings. My friend and I go to my locker and put away our stuff before heading to history.

Period 1&2
I forgot we were in groups so the desk change caught me off guard for a second. I sit down with my group. Gotta admit it's pretty strange sitting next to a guy who was in your dream. That sounds wrong out of context, doesn't it?

We mainly talk about random shit but also do a fair amount of work. One girl in our group doesn't do anything because we don't let her. She doesn't seem to mind. I open a bag of goldfish and start eating but my group member and I get yelled at for eating.

Apparently, we have to do an eye test so a group of us get sent down to the nurse's office. Basically, you take turns staring into this thing for a few seconds that flashes lights at you. It reads your eyes or something to determine your vision? Mine was fine so whatever.

Period 3
Health. Our health teacher tells us about her husband's life story. Apparently, at 18 his mother passed away and he became depressed and suicidal. He turned to drugs and became addicted. His mother had left him $100k, but all of it was spent on drugs. Then this girl be didn't know very well was apparently carrying his son. So he got his life together and enlisted in the military for their kid.

Well I don't know what happened, but they broke up and the husband got with our health teacher. His son became her stepson and then they had a daughter. It was a pretty sad story actually. Then we do some more work on why cigarettes are bad.

Period 4
Science. We have a test today. Now, I have to admit, as a teacher, ours is pretty shit. She honestly has no idea what she is talking about. She keeps mixing everything up and giving us the wrong information. I understand this shit better than she does.

She gives out the test which again makes hardly any sense. None of her work does, she words everything stupidly. Well, somehow I managed to get a %100 on the test so whatever.

Lunch
I walk into the library after a while. I had to walk across the school to my locker to retrieve another cupcake for my friend's friend's friend. It was too awkward last time. They are all gathered around a whiteboard asking where you want to travel. Now, I won't describe it, but I'll attach a picture that pretty much sums up how immature our school is. Lowkey kinda funny though.

Anyways I eat my food which happened to be a sandwich and some strawberries, bell peppers, the whole shebang. Everyone says the cupcakes are good.

Period 5
Math. I'm pretty proud of my homework. It's honestly the neatest thing I've ever turned in. I do miss a problem on it though because I'm a stupid fuck. Then we do an assessment but we can talk to our classmates so is it really an assessment?

     This guy who sits next to me is pretty good looking ngl. Tall, skinny, pale. Skinny. I feel shit about myself once again. I would give anything to be like him. Why couldn't I have been blessed with good looks?

Period 6
Guitar. We are making our own song with chords. The teacher is being a stupid idiot though. I swear she doesn't even act like a teacher. I give the remaining cupcakes to the two guys who sit next to me.

Period 7
English. We are finishing the movie. There is a hospital scene and I have to look away because it brings back too many memories. But if I thought that was bad I was not prepared for the rape scene. I think I'm going to have nightmares.

3:05
I'm the first on the bus. A kid asks if I'm always first and I say yes. I feel in a strange but rare mood right now. Confident and sad. I don't feel any fear. I put my head up and have a good look around at everyone. Then I stare at the window contemplating, my body language not as shriveled up and scared as usual. It never lasts, unfortunately.

I get off the bus to see my dad parked waiting for me. I notice it's warm. I hope he isn't taking me to the park or something. It's just him in the car. I feel tired.

I immediately ask him if we are going to the park. He says it's not normal for me to not like physical activity and that I'm too pale. I say I get it from mom's side because she's British and pale as fuck. I honestly like being pale.

He says we are meeting my mom, sister, and brother at the park and groan. Then he says just kidding we are going to Starbucks. Make up your mind. We eventually do go to Starbucks. I was planning on getting something with low sugar but I zone out too much and end up ordering a caramel frappuccino without thinking. It was good though. Then we go to Lowes and my dad complains about the fencing not being with the lumber.

We go home and my mom is outside with my brother. I notice my mom baked a loaf if something that has almonds on the top. My dad starts to cook dinner. Carne Asada with Rice and Beans on the side. I'm not a fan of Carne Asada but it's not too bad when you bury it in rice and beans.

After dinner I'm tired so I bury myself in a blanket, put in my earbuds, blast some Muse, and crash on the couch.

6:30 pm
I end up laying there awake for a while until my dad pokes me and says we are having cake. My mom made fruit cake apparently. It's pretty food, for fruit cake anyway. I have some tea with it. Then I go and play some piano. I'm close to getting down the first part of Für Elise. I know I need to do the rest of my work but whatever, I'll do it tomorrow.

After a while I get frustrated so I go to my room. I write this until my sister bangs on my door and tells me to get ready to sleep. My science grade jumped because of my amazing presentation. Also, I'm actually doing well on updating this on the correct day so they are longer now because I can actually remember some shit. Until tomorrow. Stay safe. Ciao.

Current Grades
History
103.3% A+
Health
100%  A+
Science
110.4%. A+
Math
95.7%. A
Guitar
97.6% A+
English
97.6% A+