Struggling for Normal

Chapter 8

   Wow.  The emotional roller coaster is real.  I'm freaking out!  I nearly got shot, I'm trying to pull back from Puck but instead keep feeling... closer, and- and! Well I guess that's it but it's still pretty horrible right?

That's why I was currently in my room on the ship (I got my own room as did Peter everyone else shared) fighting back tears. Sabrina Grimm didn't do crying and yet I felt a tear slide down my cheek and after that another. Another and then another and then another until I was sobbing uncontrollably and gasping for breath. Maybe I was in post traumatic shock? That was the most likely explanation.

A knock sounded on my door so I quickly straightened my hair, blew my nose, and pulled my hoodie over my head to help mask my face. I didn't want whoever was at the door to see that I had been crying. I managed to get enough of a grip on myself that my tears were silent even if they were still falling. Then I opened the door.

"Puck," I said hoarsely. "What's u-" Before I could process what was happening I was in Puck's arms and he was rubbing my back gently.

"I'm so sorry Grimm. I should have been trying to protect you better! I- I- I..."

   I made an aggravated sigh and finally stopped crying. "You what?! If you say hate you then I'm kicking you out. Literally. My foot will connect with your butt and then you'll be in the hallway with nothing but a sore bottom and a cruel heart."

He gaped at me shocked. Then he started laughing. "First. DANG GRIMM! Second. I was going to say I love you." My lips twisted into a smile before I could stop them and suddenly his mouth was upon mine.

At first I kissed him back unthinkingly listening to his mumbled apologies between kisses and muttering reassurances in return. It wasn't his fault Ms. Smirt put a gun to my head. But... something else was bothering me. I was mad at Puck for something... there were reasons why I didn't want this... I need to remember. Don't I?

My lips didn't seem to think so. Neither did the rest of me. I was pressed up against him as much as I could be and his kiss intoxicated me more than any drink ever could. I was certain of that despite never having had alcohol.

When his mouth moved to my neck though something resembling a coherent thought came to me. Something about a basketball...? I lost the thought when his lips touched mine again.

"Sabrina..." Puck whispered.

"Mhm?" Was my drunken response.

"I love you."

I giggled. Weird. I wasn't much of a giggler. "You said that already."

"Oh yeah."

  It was nice being able to be so intimate with someone without them trying to make it more intimate than your comfortable with. I was always having that problem with guys. They all wished I was more modern in that way. They could suck it. I had Puck now.

Suddenly I remembered why I didn't have Puck now and I abruptly pulled away from him and stood. "What-"

"Your leaving." I said simply. "You always leave in the end." I rubbed my face with my hands a tad overly aggressive about it.

"Sabrina..." Puck started and hearing him use my first name made me feel the urge to cry again. I rubbed my face harder before Puck gently extracted them from my face. "I'm not leaving."

   I scoffed. "Yet."

"Yet." He agreed sadly. "It's not permanent Sabrina. I'll be back. I always come back to."

   I let out a deep shuddering breath sitting back down beside him. "Your gone longer every time and... I don't know Puck. I mean... us? In a relationship? A real relationship unlike this weirdness we've been doing that's basically cursing each other's existence and then making out? I don't think your ready for that and... I... am. We- we discussed this."

"Sab-"

  "Call me Grimm. It's better this way. Right now we can only hurt each other but maybe... maybe someday... we can do more."

I stood again opening the door. He walked toward it but stopped before I could close the door without hurting him. "I want to be more now." He said stalking back inside and shoving my door closed for privacy. After that he simply pulled me back into his arms and sat back onto my bed. I scooted away from him.

All the kissing on my bed really just wasn't appropriate. Even if we were to start dating that would send the wrong message. You've got to give your guy something to marry you for after all. That was a value of mine that Puck appreciated. All though that might be that he really doesn't understand hormones and why he would even think something like that and always bats down any part of him that says I'm attractive. Clearly he stopped doing that last part.

"Puck..." I was cut off by a kiss. It was small, gentle, and still inappropriate for where we were seated.

"I'm going to travel with Jake it's true but... I'll be better about visiting. It's just kind of hard. It's always hard for me to leave you Sabrina. It hurts. All I want... UGH! This is so mushy I hate having to say it."

I raised a brow at his outburst but couldn't hold back another smile. That's my Puck.

   "Sorry." He muttered and I whispered my forgiveness. "All I want is to be with you and leaving... but I need to leave as well. There are so many things I haven't seen. Haven't experienced. Please Sabrina. I want to be with you. If it's you or travel it's you. Hands down."

I kissed him jovially. His arms wrapped around my waist and my fingers tangled in his hair. "You don't have to choose but... if this is going to work then you have to visit at least every other weekend. If I don't see you at least that often then we need to face the fact that it isn't going to work out. I mean it Puck. I already told you. I won't live with a broken heart. You have to come see me enough to keep it whole." Puck laughed and picked me up off the bed spinning me around happily.

"I can do that. I hope it's not a deal breaker that I'm pretty positive I'll never be able to resist pranking you." Puck said with a smile that was both mischievous and apologetic.

"Not a deal breaker but you better be careful. I'm never going to forgive you for that little basketball stunt you pulled so you better watch yourself." I said wanting to sound stern because I meant every word but to happy to put a commanding spin on my tone.

Puck apologized for that again which I responded with an irritated "you are not forgiven!"

   He kissed me again.

All right so this was really just an extremely cheesy Puckabrina chapter! I'm sorry! I was born both dramatic and a romantic so... that comes out in my writing I suppose. I have a real plot I promise I just also have a ship problem. Anyways... I hope you love, vote, and comment! Goodbye my very few but still wonderful and awesome readers! See you next update! (Sort of since technically I won't be seeing any of you😉)