I reached my house, thankful I had made it safely. My vision had been beyond blurry and the fact that the sun had gone down didnt help much. I parked on the curb, put my head on the steering wheel and just sobbed. I just needed to get it all out before going inside and possibly facing my parents. It didnt take long to get most of it out of my system before I composed my self. The windows had gotten foggy in my car. I had no idea that could happen from crying. I got out of the car and stopped when I noticed what was in my driveway. The van! I ran up to it to make sure it was actually real and my mind wasnt playing some sick trick on me. I touched it, the cold metal sent a shiver through me and I knew this was no mirage.
I went inside to find a good portion of the BryanStars tour in my living room. All the boys of Late Nite Reading plus Catching Your Clouds, Bryan Stars and their merch guys. Bryan fucking Stars is in my living room, on my couch. I was trying my best not to fangirl because I had more important things to take care of. "What are you guys doing here?" I was amazzed that the question came out with how nervous I was.
Brady walked up to me, "Can we talk?"
"Yeah, of course." I led him into to kitchen and the moment we were alone, silent tears started falling down my cheeks.
He looked at me, "Lyrie please dont cry."
I began to wipe them away, "Its fine, its fine. So, um.." I hesitated not knowing where to go from here.
Thankfully Brady took over, "Lyrie, Im sorry." He was looking down now.
"Why are you sorry? Im the one whose an awful person and made you hate me." I choked on the last word.
His head tilted up, "I dont hate you. I never could. And Im sorry because I shouldnt have said those things to you that night."
"You had every right to say it. What I did was horrible." I held my head down not wanting him to see the shame in my eyes.
He came up to me and shook me gently, "Hey, you are not a horrible person. Stop saying that about yourself. Please, look at me."
I nodded my head, "No I cant look at you. Not after all that I've done. I did things to try to solve a problem that had never even started to begin with."
"Lyrie, look at me."
I raised my eyes up, not moving my head. He tilted my chin up so I was level with him. "Okay now repeat what you were saying because Im confused."
"My parents Brady. It turns out they were never going to get a divorce or anything like that."
His eyes lit up, "Thats great Lyrie!"
"No its not. It means I ruined our friendship over nothing." My head was starting to lean down again but Brady wouldnt allow it.
"Lyrie, its okay. You didnt ruin our friendship, nothing ever could."
"How can you say that? After everything, how can you stand there and just tell me its okay. Its not okay. Not what I did to you or Dalton or myself. You wouldnt even talk to me and now you're here telling me its okay." I was starting to become hysterical.
He pulled me into a hug and refused to let go, "Lyrie, we need to talk about this. Im sorry for not talking to you, that wasnt right. I just...I was upset. I was upset that my best friends had kept something like this from me. I needed time to just think about this. I couldnt ignore Dalton because of all the shit we had to do before we left. At the time, it was just easier to not talk to you. That doesnt make what I did right though and I am so truly sorry about that. I dont know how many times I almost drove here just to apologize but I didnt know what else to say after that. It wasnt until after I finally asked Dalton about everything that I knew what I wanted to say."
