Finding Myself

29: Quinn

I stare at Riley and I could have sworn she was looking at my lips with longing. We are so close to each other and it's driving me insane. I want to kiss her so badly.

"Um, are you guys going to get up soon. The people in line are waiting to get on," an employee says suddenly.

Riley turns away quickly as I lean away. She quickly gets up and follows me of the ride. We don't really say anything on the way to the exit, but I hold the gate open for her to walk out. She says thank you and we walk around for a bit.

I hold on to the tiger tightly, waiting for her to say something. We can't deny that we both freezes back there, but maybe we did for different reasons. Was I invading her personal space too much? I know she doesn't like when people go that, maybe she was a bit upset with me.

For fucks sake, I don't know how to act or think around Riley. However, I would rather be around her than anyone else. I'm in bind and I'm not sure if I want to get out of it or not.

"So, you're afraid of heights?" I ask, trying to break the silence.

"Yeah, I fell out of a tree when I was younger," Riley replies. I look at her in disbelief, she doesn't look like someone who would do anything dangerous. Not that climbing a tree is a hardcore dangerous or rebellious act, but I thought she was always cautious or worried.

"So, you used to be fun?" I tease. Riley smacks my arm playfully and I know things between us are good now. No matter how awkward things get or whether we get angry or distant, we will always be good at the end of the day.

"I used to be stupid," she replies to me. "I had to get stitches because I landed on a fallen branch."

"Oh my god, where?"

"Here," she says pointing to her side. "The branch had a sharp edge and cut me. Look, I needed seven stitches." She lifts up her shirt to show me her scar. It's a small jagged line just above her left hip.

I wince as I see it and without thinking I put my hand over her scar to feel it. What the fuck is wrong with me? You can't just touch someone without permission. Especially to touch their scar, it's a sensitive part of her.

Riley shivers and starts to blush. I immediately pull my hand back and start apologizing. She stops me to say, "It's okay, I just wasn't expecting that." She pulls her shirt down and shifts from foot to foot. Damn, I've made things weird again by touching her. I seem to push her boundaries a lot by accident. I need to be more careful.

"Want to go on another ride?" She asks abruptly.

"But, aren't you afraid?"

"With you by my side I think I can handle it," she replies with a soft smile. Fuck, I think I'm in love. That damn smile gets me everytime.

"So, I'm like your brave inspiration to fight your fears?" I joke. She rolls her eyes at me as we walk to the next ride.

"No, I don't want to inflate your ego!"

"Too late!" I say as laughing.

We go on a few different rides together and have the time of our lives. Sure, Riley still gets scared, but I love that she holds onto me. I know she is embarrassed by that, but I don't care, I don't mind it all.

We get hungry, so we take a break from the rides. Riley is curious about what happened to the guys since she hasn't gotten a single message from Mason.

I was having such a good day without having to see or hear Mason for a while, but I can't escape that dude. I follow Riley to the arcades and as we walk around we notice that Mason and Joshua have moved from the basketball game to the skee ball machine. Riley walks by them and they seem to notice her. Riley even tries getting Mason's attention and telling him that she might leave, yet he doesn't respond. Riley just shrugs and walks over to me.

"Want to go to my house now? It's pretty late to stay around, I can call my parents to come pick us up," Riley suggests. I agree and before heading outside we stop by an ice cream stand. We both get waffle cones, however I get chocolate ice cream and Riley gets chocolate chip.

We walk to the entrance and wait outside while eating our ice creams. Riley finishes hers much faster than I do and I chuckle as I notice that she has a bit of ice cream on her upper lip. I have the napkins so I reach over to wipe her upper lip. Riley slightly flinches as I do it and I put my hand down and apologize.

"It's okay. I'm just still trying to get used to touch. I was never a big fan of being touched by anyone, but I like when you touch me," she tries to explain. Oh, she likes when I touch her. I can't help but smirk at Riley and she notices where she fumbled her words. She starts to blush and says that's not what she meant over and over again. I start to laugh and Riley face palms.

"Oh, shut up and help me get this ice cream off my face," she mumbles. I obey and raise my hand to wipe her upper lip. I make sure to take my time because I don't want to let go of her face. Riley refuses to look at me and I wish that she would. I want to see her adorable brown eyes. I know she hates them, but I don't.

Eventually I drop my hand and continue to eat my ice cream. We wait in silence for a few more minutes before Riley's mom arrives. Riley and I get in the back seat and we drive off, leaving the guys behind. I'm happy they aren't with us, I prefer being around Riley and her parents than around the guys.

"So, the other stayed behind to play arcade machines?" Asks Riley's mom. Riley says yes and her mother laughs.

"Sometimes boys can be immature and they don't realize what is happening right in front of them. Watch Mason call you later and ask where you are," she jokes.

Once we get back to their house, we all head inside. Riley's dad greets me when I walk in and asks if we had fun. I say yes and so does Riley. I'm glad she had fun with just being around me. It makes me feel like I'm beating Mason, even though it's not even a competition since he already has Riley.

Riley asks if I want anything to drink and I say yes. So, I follow her into the kitchen and notice a vase. I also see a receipt for roses and candy on the counter and I put two and two together. I quickly unzip my backpack and pull out the beautiful roses and candy that Joshua supposedly gave to me. I put the Rose's in the vase and pick it up to show Riley as she turns around to hand me a glass of water.

Riley's eyes widen and she nearly drops the glass, but grabs  it at the last second. However, she drops water everywhere. She doesn't move as she stares at me and probably figures that I know who tot the things for me.

"I wonder how Joshua could know me this well to get these things for me," I tease.

"Mom! You didn't throw away the receipts!" Riley yells as I start to laugh.

"It's not my job to clean the counter! It's also not my fault you suck at hiding the evidence!" Her mom yells from the other room and I can hear her dad laughing like crazy.

Riley refuses to look at me, instead she grabs paper towels and bends down to clean the floor. I grab some paper towels as well and bend down to help her. We don't say anything for a few seconds until our hands accidentally brush over each other. We look up at each other at the same time and I can't hold my tongue.

"I think it would have been a much better date with you than Joshua," I blurt out. Riley looks at me in shock, then her cheeks start to blush again. I love seeing how easily she gets flustered with compliments and teasing.

Before either of us can say anything else, we hear Riley's dad yell, "It seems like your plans have been ruined Riley. Such a tragic ending."

I can't help but laugh while Riley rolls her eyes. We both get up to throw away the dirty towels. Then we walk into the living room to talk about what happened at the carnival. However, Riley never mentions me coming out to her. She just says that we had a talk about asking for permission and now we are good.

I wish I could talk with Riley more about the roses and candy. I want to thank her for being so considerate for getting me these things. It's so cute. It feels like I went on the best date in the world, but it wasn't a real date with Riley. And I will never date Riley. The thought crushes my heart.

However, instead of being sad, I think about being in the moment. I'm here talk and laughing with Riley's family and I'm having the best time. That's all I could ask for. To feel understood and accepted.