Finding Myself

57: Quinn

We go to Riley's home so that we can pick up her dad. Once we do, we make our way to the fair.

I'm so excited to just relax and have a bunch of fun with Riley today. I want to forget what happened at school today and make good memories with my girl.

Soon enough we park the car and head to the entrance. Despite my best efforts to pay for my ticket, Riley's parent don't allow it. They pay for me and Riley pulls me inside the fair grounds. I grumble along and they all chuckle at my reaction.

"Oh cheer up, Quinn. You can make it up to us by winning Riley a stuffed animal at one of these fair games," suggests Riley's dad.

"I'm going to get her the biggest stuffed animal!" I declare. "I need to to pay you back for that stuffed animal you gave me when we went to the carnival a few months back."

"Riley actually won a fair game? Impossible, she's way to clumsy and uncoordinated like me to win," her dad jokes. Riley glares at him and tries to jump on him, but he runs away. Riley runs after him and I stand next to her mom as we laugh.

"Those two sure are something special," Riley's mom comments. I can't help, but agree with her. Riley is so much like her parents and it's adorable. I love the relationship she has with them.

"I wish I could have parents like you guys," I whisper softly.

Riley's mom puts an arm around me as we watch them. We just stand there in silence for a few seconds before she says, "Don't worry. Your parents will come around."

"You don't know them. They aren't like you guys," I respond.

"You know, my husband and I weren't always like this. We used to never spent time with the kids, barely ever saw them because we were too busy with our careers."

"What happened? What made you change? Be so close to Riley?" I ask.

"Well, Raf died and things were never the same again. You wouldn't understand how much my husband and I beat ourselves up for that. It doesn't get easier with time, but you learn to live with the regret. We weren't there for Raf when he needed us, so we promised to always be there for Riley. She's the only one we have left and we would do anything tor her," she explains.

"That's why I know your parents will change their minds. It takes time, but they love you Quinn. They care so much about you and let you do the things you care about. They might not be good at showing the affection, but believe me, they are good parents underneath all the misunderstanding. Your parents are nothing like the ones who encouraged their children to beat mine to death for being different. I think that your parents are just scared for you or of what others will say. Give them time," she adds.

I don't say anything else, I just stand there in silence as I try to process everything she said. She has more experience in this world than me, she's been through horrible stuff, so maybe she's right. Maybe my parents will change. I hope they do. I love them so much. I miss them.

Riley and her dad walk back to us as they laugh uncontrollably. It takes them a few minutes to calm down and seeing them like that makes me smile. I love seeing Riley this happy. She's laughing so hard that her eyes are closed yet tears are coming through. She holds on to her dad for support, but he also looks like he is ready to fall to the ground laughing. Riley's mom just rolls her eyes and smiles as well. They are a beautiful family.

"Come on, you two, let's get tickets," Riley's mom says as she pulls her husband and daughter in the direction of the ticket booth. I follow them and we wait un line for a few minutes. Of course Riley's parents refuse to let me buy my tickets and I accept it this time.

"Here you guys go," Riley's mom says as she hands me the tickets. "You and Riley go have fun. My husband will stay around here for a bit, I want to see if he can win me something." Riley's dad looks slightly concerned, but he puts on a brave face and promises to win her something.

They walk off to find a game to play while Riley and I stand still. After a few seconds she turns to me and asks, "where to first?"

"As long as I'm with you, I don't care where we start," I blurt out. Riley rolls her eyes at my cheesy comment and scans the surrounding area. Her eyes light up as she focuses on the ferris wheel. "No!" I immediately yell.

Riley stares at me in shock, but then she starts to smirk. "What's wrong? Scared of ferris wheel? That's wierd considering you love roller coaster," she teases.

"Most rollercoaster coasters are so fast though, but ferris wheels take a long time," I respond.

Riley reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers. The small gesture is so cute and instantly makes me feel more relaxed. "Come on, it will be okay. Ill.be holding your hand the whole time," she says.

I groan and agree to try the ferris wheel, but I'm still concerned. We walk over to the line and as we get closer to the front I start to shift from foot to foot. Riley can see the change in my mood and she puts her arm around my waist to pull me closer. "Who knew you would be so scared to ride a ferris wheeler. What happened to badass Quinn?" She teases.

"I was never a badass to begin with," I say as we become the first people in line for the next ride. "Oh god, we are next!"

Riley laughs at first then quickly kisses my cheek. I have to admit that made me feel a little better and I try to calm down my breathing. Ferris wheels are so different from rollercoasters, they are scary. I'm not fond of staying in the air for a long time, I rather go up and down fast.

It's our time to get on the ride and we step in and sit down in our cart. The ride attendant double checks our seat belts then starts the ride to move us up so that he can sit down the next couple. The sudden moment makes me squeeze Riley's hand. She gently rubs my hand so that I can calm down then she puts her other hand around my shoulders.

We keep going up higher then back down as the ride fills up with people. Going up and having to wait at that height felt horrible for me, I'm glad it lasted a few seconds. I don't know how I'm going to deal with going around and around. I'll probably get sick or pass out.

The ride finally starts and I hold on to Riley tightly. She giggles at my actions but scoots closer to me. Everything seems to be going okay for a few minutes until the ride stops when we are near the top. I frantically look down at the ride attendant who says that the ride will stay still for everyone so that every person can be at the top for few seconds.

"Noooooo," I whine. Riley giggles at my torture but makes sure to hold on to me as we near the top.

The ride stops again and the cart we are in swings back and forth making me panic. "I hate you," I say to Riley. She chuckles again and tried to calm my down by rubbing my back.

"Why did I agree to go on?"

"You didn't, I practically dragged you on," she jokes.

"I'm never letting you dragging me into things again," I respond.

"Oh come on, you love getting dragged into things with me. I've put you in some pretty odd situations and you are always there for me," she mentions.

"Of course I'm always here, you mean the world to me," I whisper before yelping as the cart moves again.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Riley blurts out.

I stare at her in shock as I keep a death grip on her and the seat belt. "Why the hell did you think it was a good time to ask while on this death trap machine. Yes, of course yes, but what the fuck Riley!"

She looks both shock and relieved at my sudden outburst. Believe me I'm happy that she asked me, but I'm also scared of this ride and I don't know how to comprehend everything.

The cart swings back and forth again as we head down a little for the riders below us to be at the top. Riley can see me panic a little bit, but then she grabs my face so that I focus on her. She pulls me closer and kisses me passionately. I'm shocked at first, but I let go of the seat belt so that I can wrap my arms around her to deepen the kiss.

Despite how scared I am of the swinging, I don't care where I am because I'm with the most amazing girl. She makes me so incredibly happy. And now I finally get to call her my girlfriend.