Finding Myself

48: Riley

We all sit down at the table and grab plates to eat. No one says anything for the first few minutes until my dad says, "So, how are you doing in school, Quinn."

"Good, I'm trying my best to maintain all my A's," she responds.

"That's good, mind helping Riley out. She is slipping a little in some classes and I know she hates asking for help, but I don't want to see her moping around if she doesn't do as well as she hoped. Plus, she got sent home yesterday for being sick and I don't want her to miss out on anything," adds my dad.

I look at him and he winks at me. What the fuck? Why did he do that? Is he trying to get me and Quinn to spend even more time together? Is he pushing us together? Shit. My love life is awful if my parents think they need to help me out here.

"Yeah, of course I'll help Riley. I would do anything for her," Quinn blurts out and I focus on her. She notices me staring and she quickly turns her head to hide her faint blush.

"That's amazing, thank you. I want Riley to do her best so that she can get into the school that she wants," comments my mom.

"I think Riley already has the best shot to get into UC Davis. They would be stupid not to take her," Quinn says.

My parents immediately look at me in a questioning manner. "Wait, so UCLA is out of the question now? Since when? I didn't know you wanted to go to UC Davis," my dad asks.

"Oh yeah. About that, I want to focus on zoology and UC Davis is the best for that. I don't think I ever really wanted to to to UCLA," I explain.

My parents smile and my mom replies with, "I'm proud of you sweetie. I could tell your heart wasn't in it for UCLA, but I didn't want to force a choice on you. If you think UC Davis is the best to go with then your father and I support you. Whatever makes you happy is what makes us happy."

I clean my hands and get up to hug my parents. They have always been so understanding and patient with me even when I'm a stubborn mess. I wouldn't be where I am now without them. I'm so grateful they are my parents.

"So, where would you like to go,Quinn," my dad asks.

"I would love to go to Berkeley, but it's really competitive. I don't know if I'll get in."

"What are you talking about! You're so smart and talented. I know they would pick you in a heartbeat. You've got me beat for AP classes, you're a cheerleader and have always been so involved in school. You have lots of other amazing things on the list that I have never heard of. You are getting in, I know it," I blurt out.

Quinn smiles widely and reaches over to grab my hand. She gives me a small squeeze and says thank you. Before I can respond to her, my mom mentions, "You know Berkeley and UC Davis aren't so far away. You guys could see each other a lot. Depending on traffic and what transportation you take, you guys are about 1 to 2 hours apart."

"You guys can still hang out. No need in ever saying goodbye and parting ways. I've noticed how close you two are and it would break my heart to see you guys drift apart," adds my dad.

I never really thought about that, but they are right. Quinn and I wouldn't be that far away, in case of anything we can always see each other. However, I have a feeling that my parents have other intentions with tell me about this. They seem really insistent on Quinn and I being together. I guess I have their blessing, yet I don't know what I want.

Actually that's not true. I know exactly what I want. I want Quinn and I know she feels the same way. I just know it, I can feel it when I'm around her.

Why am I always so afraid though. The thought of being with her terrifies me, but the thought of being without her breaks my heart. Ugh, why do I need to make everything so complicated. Fuck this anxiety, fuck all the doubts I have. I just want to be carefree and in the moment. I want to be more like Raf. I wish he were here so that we could talk.

"Raf would have loved this. Being here, talking about anything and eating pizza," I blurt out.

"You're right, we could never get that kid to shut up," jokes my dad. "He was the life of everything, always so positive and funny."

"Yes, he would get in so much trouble at school for talking. I don't understand how he never got expelled," comments my mom.

"I wish I could have met him," Quinn says.

"You guys would have gotten along so well. You two would have been beat friends and constantly try to tease me," I add laughing.

"Well it's definitely fun doing it now. If I had Raf's help, you would be in so much trouble," Quinn jokes.

"I can still remember your brother yelling your name over and over again as if it happened yesterday. You would get so annoyed and try to chase him around the room as he continued to yell Reyna," my mom adds.

"Reyna?" Quinn asks.

"That was Riley's name before. I thought she would have told you,  ut she probably forgot," replies my dad.

"Wait a minute. Why did you change your name," Quinn asks turning to me. She looks so lost and confused and it's my fault for not opening up about this sooner.

"I had to change, we were getting threatened before and we wanted to escape that," I begin explaining, but my mom interrupts.

"After charging those kids that killed Raf, we got a lot of threats. Especially from the families of the those kids and the community where we used to live turned their backs on us. No matter where we went the death threats and cyber bullying for Riley got worse and worse. We had enough and didn't want Riley to go through the same things, so we all changed our names and moved here. It was a hard decision, but it was the best thing we could have done," my mom explains.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I had no idea," Quinn adds.

"It's okay, I didn't tell you. You couldn't have known," I reply.

"Why didn't you ever say anything? I would have never judged you or treated you differently. You mean to much to me and I wish I was there for you more," Quinn says.

I grab her hand to get her attention and reply, "It's okay, Quinn. Your support now means everything to me. And the reason I didn't say anything about this before is because I forgot, not because I didn't trust you. I promise to tell you everything."

Quinn gives me a small smile and then she starts smirking, "Both of your names are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful."

I immediately start blushing and my heart starts pounding like crazy. I can't help the smile creeping on my face and I turn to face the other direction. However, I face my parents by accident and both of them start smirking as well. Shit.

"I'm going to get more water," I blurt out. I jump up and head into the kitchen to calm down.

What the fuck!

Why is Quinn so cute? Why do my parents keeping winking and smirking at me! It's not helping me out! I just look like a fool with my red face!

How the fuck am I going to be able to be near Quinn for the rest of the week. There are like four days left!

Holy shit! I'm going to be sleeping near Quinn! How the fuck do I manage this again!

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Author note: We are nearing the parts you have all been waiting for.😉

Also, I know that a lot of you guys are nearing your finals, so I made a video on study tips. The video is down below, please show some support and subscribe!