Finding Myself

42: Riley

Lunch time finally rolls around and I head to the library to relax. I would much rather be here than anywhere else in school. I just feel so safe and calm here. It's so quiet and everyone is trying to do their own work or talking quietly in the corner with their friends.

I find an empty table and head over there to sit down. I put my bag on the chair next to me so that I can save a spot for Quinn. I can't wait for her to get her.

I miss her already and I saw her like three hours ago. I'm getting so attached, ughhh. I don't necessarily think that's the best thing after just getting out of a relationship were I was having attachment problems.

I push the though aside and get out some homework to work on as I wait for Quinn. However, my phone vibrates and I check it to see a text from Quinn. She said she's going to be a few minutes late because she's helping a teacher. I'm a little bummed that I wouldn't get to spend the full lunch time with her, but I understand. Quinn is a wonderful person, she's always willing to help anyone, that's just in her nature. It's one of the reasons why I'm so into her.

"Riley," someone suddenly says from behind me. I turn around and notice that it's Megan. What is she doing here though? She should be at the lunch table with the rest of her cheer team and the football team.

"Hello," I reply as she walks closer and she looks at the chair that I'm saving for Quinn. I quickly move my stuff and she sits down next to me. She looks very concerned for some reason. I wonder what's wrong.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, are you?" I respond.

"Oh okay. I'm good. I was just worried because you didn't come to lunch and Mason wouldn't say why. I thought you might be mad about the last time we talked or if something happened between you and Mason."

"Oh, of course I'm not mad. I couldn't be mad at you, you were just trying to look out for me and make sure I was making the right decision. Which I wasn't. I know that now," I reply.

"Wait...what? What do you mean? You're going to wait to have sex?"

"No, I mean yes. Well yes and no," I comment stupidly which makes Megan look at me skeptically.

"What the hell does that even mean?" She asks chuckling.

I crack a smile too, sometimes you just have to laugh at how stupid you are being in the moment. "It means that I will wait to have sex, not because I wasn't prepared, but more so because I'm not in love with Mason. So we broke up," I explain to her.

Megan looks at me in complete shock and has to take a minute to comprehend what I just said. "Is it my fault? I didn't mean to plant a seed of doubt, oh shit I'm so sorry. I feel awful."

"No, it's not your fault. You helped me open my eyes. Honestly it was time to end the relationship, it wasn't healthy for Mason with I. We both felt trapped, it was time to let go," I add.

"Oh okay. How are you holding up though? Must be pretty tough to see Mason now. Is that why you're in the library? Like I was trying to find you and I thought why not check here since you're such a nerd," she jokes which makes me laugh.

"Well, you're partly true. Of course I'm in the library, but it's not because of Mason, it's because of everyone else. Mason and I are on good terms, we are back to being just best friends, I think that's something that we have both wanted for a while now. However, I'm here because I don't want to explain things to other people, they might not understand or want us back together and that's not what I need now," I tell her.

"I understand you and I would never tell you to get back with him. It's hard seeing you guys broken up though, it's weird more than anything and that's how others will feel. I don't think anyone wants to pressure or judge you on purpose though. It's more of an automatic thing people do when they don't understand something or someone. Also, you and Mason were viewed as a real and normal love, you know. You were couple goals and now that they you aren't together, it's hard for people to understand, it may feel like they are losing hope in love," Megan tries to explain which actually makes sense. Mason and I seemed like we were destined to be in love and be together forever and the reality is that we aren't meant for that. We are just meant to be friends and a lot of people with struggle with that notion, they will always expect more.

"Fuck what everyone thinks though, they don't matter. What matters is your happiness. And I'm always going to be here for you if you ever need me. Whether that be someone to talk to or if you need me to beat someone up," she jokes.

"Thank you, Megan. You wouldn't begin to understand how much that means to me," I reply and Megan smiles widely. She pulls me in for a hug and it feels nice. It feels amazing to be able to talk to people like this. I've been missing out so much in life, but now things are changing for me.

"Oh, hello," I hear a familiar voice from beside us. Megan and I end the hug and we both look up at Quinn. "You two look very cozy with each other, what did I miss?" she says with a poker face.

"Oh, we were just talking about my breakup. Megan helped me get the condoms last week and...," I don't have time to continue my sentence before Quinn interrupts.

"Oh so you were the one pressuring her to have sex?" She growls at Megan.

Megan looks a little scared now and she immediately gets up up from the chair to take a step back. "Woah woah, that's not how it happens I swear."

"Are you sure about that? Why the hell would you talk to her about sex and condoms then," Quinn adds scowling at Megan.

"Wait a minute, Quinn," I say as I get up to hold her back. "She also helped me figure out that I don't love Mason!"

Quinn quickly looks at me to say, "Wait, what?"

I roll my eyes at her and add, "just sit down and listen to us." She mumbles things under her breath that I can't hear, but she complies and sits in the chair.

"Yes, I did take her to buy condoms, but I could also tell she wasn't sure about her feelings, so I advised her to wait. I in no way wanted to pressure her, I just wanted to help Riley. We woman have to go through so tough shit in life, so I just wanted to look out for her. We all need to have each other's back," Megan explains.

"Gosh, I'm sorry for snapping at you. Megan," Quinn says.

"It's alright, I just wasn't expecting you to be so scary and defensive all of sudden," Megan adds.

Quinn gives her a sheepish smile and shrugs. "Yeah, sorry about that. When it comes to Riley I'm pretty protective."

Megan tilts her head slightly and looks from Quinn to I multiple times. She starts to smirk before adding, "Yeah, I've noticed how mighty close you two are."

"Yeah, we are best friends, so I really care about her," Quinn adds and that makes me smile.

Something is up with Megan, she is trying hard not to laugh. "Yeah, you two are the best of friends."

"Yes....are you okay?" I ask her.

"Oh yeah, I'm good as can be. I'm just so glad you guys are good.....with each other now....you two were both pretty heartbroken when you guys weren't talking to each other," Megan adds.

"Yeah, I'm so used to talking to Quinn everyday. Those days where we weren't talking was very hard for me," I explain.

"Well, I'm glad everything worked out for the better. Now you can figure out what you really want, Riley," Megan adds giving me a smirk. Why the fuck is she smirking so much? Is there something she is trying to tell me?

"You know what, I should probably go now. I just wanted to check up on you, Riley, but now I see that you are in good hands," she says motioning to Quinn.

Megan gets up and waves to us before leaving. Quinn turns to me and asks, "when did you guys become buddies?"

"That day where everything went to shit, she helped me a lot," I respond.

"Well, I'm glad that you made a good friend, but I'm still number one in the best friends that are girls," she says and I nod, but I can't help but chuckle. Quinn playfully shoves me before we start working on some homework together.

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Author note: This chapter was so much fun to write. It has to be one of my favorites.

What did you guys like about this chapter? Who is your favorite character (Riley, Quinn, Mason, Megan) and why?

Also, I made a video on how my zoom date went. If you want to know if it was good or not, watch the video down below lol.