Illusions [Ateez x Reader]

Chapter 9

  -------Flashback: 5 weeks after Y/N met Ateez---------

      I walked into school, pain consuming my body. As I reach the front of the school, I once again see the boys messing around and flirting with someone that isn't me. This has happened so often, that I just stopped calling them my soulmates. They try and talk to me randomly during the day like they don't cheat on me, but I just run away.

      Anyways, I just walk straight past them, trying to run to my first class. When I get in there, I go straight to my seat and put my headphones in, laying my head down on my arms. Somebody pokes the top of my back, but I don't raise my head. I know who it is, and I don't want to see them. Someone yanks and earbud out of my ear, so I raise my head to see my eight deplorable people that are supposed to be my soulmates.

    "What?" I snapped.

     The boys moved back a bit.

    Yeosang moved forward a bit. "We just wanted to say good morning."

    "Why?"

      "What do you mean 'why?'" Mingi asks.

      "You literally fucked some that wasn't a soulmate last night. So why are you saying good morning to the soulmate you keep cheating on?"

      All of their faces fall.

   I smirked. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now, would you please get away from me?"

     The boys leave and I sit through the rest of class without a distraction. I make it through the rest of the day not-so-subtly avoiding the boys. Once I reach the end of the day, I see the boys walking towards me, but I quickly rush away and down the road to my house.

      I open the door to my house and the smell of alcohol and drugs hits my nose, almost making me vomit. I wince and walk in, shutting the door and heading up to my room. I walk into my room and slam the door shut, locking it quickly. I stay in there and begin to work on homework.

     After about an hour, I hear the door downstairs open and two people walk in. I recognize overwhelming sound of my parents and sigh. I get up and unlock my door, I would have an even worse time in punishment if it was locked. My parents climb the stairs and slam my door open, both stumbling in slightly drunk. My mother walks towards me and yanks me from my chair and onto the floor.

     "You little bitch," she shrieked. "Didn't I tell you to have the dishes done when we got home?!"

     "No! You never told me that!"

     She raised her hand and struck me across the face. "You should have fucking known!"

    I curled up in a ball, trying to protect myself as hits came left and right from both of my parents. Bruises began to form on my back and stomach. One hit came and slammed on my spine, cause me to let out a shriek of complete agony. My parents eventually stopped hitting me, but my father picked me up and dragged me to my closet, tossing me in there and locking the door so I couldn't get out. I banged on the door, crying and screaming but eventually I just gave up. I laid there for hours, the pain finally settling.

      I started to fall asleep, until I felt a jolt in my heart. Soon, a pain washed over me, coming in waves. My body started to convulse and shake as tears built up in my eyes. The pain kept growing until it turned into fire running through my body. I knew what was happening, which caused my tears worsen, falling down my face. After an hour, the pain lessened, but I stayed in fetal position, curled up. My body felt so weak and I couldn't move my body at all. I know I am dying, and I know exactly why.

      My Soulmates

---------End of flashback-----

     I shoot up from my bed and let tears fall from my eyes again. I shook my head from the memory, deciding to do something to make it go away. I pull myself out of bed and go into my recording room, grabbing my guitar and sitting on the floor.

[a/n: Praying by Kesha]

Well, you almost had me fooled

Told me that I was nothing without you

Oh, but after everything you've done

I can thank you for how strong I have become

'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell

I had to learn how to fight for myself

And we both know all the truth I could tell

I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'

I hope your soul is changin', changin'

I hope you find your peace

Falling on your knees, prayin'

I'm proud of who I am

No more monsters, I can breathe again

And you said that I was done

Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come

'Cause I can make it on my own, oh

And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known

I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain, oh

When I'm finished, they won't even know your name

You brought the flames and you put me through hell

I had to learn how to fight for myself

And we both know all the truth I could tell

I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'

I hope your soul is changin', changin'

I hope you find your peace

Falling on your knees, prayin'

Ah sometimes, I pray for you at night, oh

Someday, maybe you'll see the light

Whoa oh oh oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give

But some things only God can forgive

Yeah! (I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin')

I hope your soul is changin', changin'

I hope you find your peace

Falling on your knees, prayin'

I really hated my life back then. I always wanted it to get better. It finally did, but it may get messed again now. I'm so fucking scared.