Trouble © J.JK 🔞

82 Trust

Now I can make out everything. Those dreams were the signs I don’t know from where I was getting. Jungkook in danger, the truth behind the alley night and the reality about everything, it was right in front of me. How can they even hide the fact from me? The more I think, the more pain I feel in my head. I think my head is going to explode painfully.

I should’ve known this from beginning. The angel was never yet to be born, it is inside me. The blood burning Jungkook’s skin was one of the proofs. If I was born with it, then it has to be only me. The feather is only needed to provide me wings, nothing more than that. I suddenly feel stupid. How I could’ve believed them all blindly and risked my life? My life is far more in chaos than I ought it to be. They needed time to just wipe out the existence of the twin coven so that they could do everything peacefully.

I cannot believe that these all things were planned from long ago. I had this feeling that it was all planned, but I refused to believe them all. Namjoon knew I am the angel and asked Jungkook to follow me. We stumbled in the club first, Joon had his suspicion on me since the party night and out of nowhere I had this feeling that I should apply for Crystal Company for my job. So it all started at the day I met all of them at Jimin’s party. However I am glad for one thing, he never said that Jungkook falling in love with me was planned, and even if the god himself will come down to say me that it was planned from before that our love was planned, I will refuse to believe it.

Even though everything was planned, Namjoon asked him to follow me, not to fall in deep love with me. He loves me I know and I am not convincing myself, I can say it with utter confidence, it’s in his eyes, I could never doubt that. But I cannot side the feeling of betrayal in my heart.

Great Namjoon thinks that I am still incapable. I need Jungkook right now very bad. He must be somewhere around the country, I don’t know where but I keep on telling myself that he is fine, he is not alone. Out of the entire conclusion I considered, I can say that they all lied to me, kept things from me which were very important and broke my trust.

I huff out as I go through some random book. I didn’t even consider checking out the name of the book and I am here reading it like my life depends on it. I am not reading it; I am just… reading it. Why did I come to a library at the first place? I ditched gym today, just felt tired with everything and instead stumbled inside this library.

I never questioned it, but I always feel at peace whenever I am inside a library. Not the one with everything white, but the kind of library which looks old. The inside is filled with the smell of books and old paddock woods everywhere. This was the same library where I first read the book about demons. I never got the chance to notice the name of the writer, and I am glad I didn’t notice.

It’s been so long I haven’t seen Jungkook; the hole keeps getting bigger every day. It has been exactly a month since his depart, and I feel nothing but a lost soul. How fast the days pass by… I never count the days I fear if I keep on counting the number will keep getting bigger. Since the day I had this talk with Namjoon, I avoided everything related to it, almost everything. I mean I don’t want to pressure on my poor heart since it is going through sever heartache. I hope no one in this world should suffer from a long distance relationship; it is like sailing the ship without engine.

I swear every little thing reminds me of him. Even though I try to ignore everything that reminds me of him, but I cannot help our memories embedded in every single thing. It breaks my heart even more. The world seems so big right now and I feel small. If this thing isn’t stopping sooner, I will end up dying with depression and anxiety. Even the library looks way too bigger than before to me now. How am I supposed to survive like this?

Just by the line, I receive a phone call startling me off my thoughts. I take the phone out and notice its Rachael. Oh I forgot that have life beyond Angels and Demons thing. Feeling happy, I pick up the call.