Confused Love

Chapter 5

*Two days after canceled school day*

I hug Bear, "I'm so sorry babyy. I'll be back soon ok? I don't have after school today. I wish Connor and I could stay home."

Bear whines, confused.

Connor kisses Bear on the nose, "I knoww. Erin was mean to do this to you. It's not my fault. It's Erinnn's."

I pretend to be offended and playfully slap Connor's arm, "Annie and Abby will be here in 5 minutes ok? Don't worry."

As Connor closes the door, we can hear Bear whimpering from inside. Connor and I look at each other as our hearts break. Then his personality switches just like that. He's back to rude Connor.

"Ok get in the car. We're gonna be late."

I listen to him, not wanting to make him angry. Connor backs from the driveway, shifts gears, and drives away from the neighborhood.

––––––––

When we arrive at school Connor locks the car and immediately goes to his friends. They greet each other loudly and are probably talking about girls they slept with. I walk over to Aria who's walking with Emma. I sneak up behind them and scare them both.

Emma is scared out of her mind, "oH my gOD, Erin!

But Aria is less scared because I always sneak up on her. She laughs and greets me.

"Heyyy Erin. You got a looot of stuff to spill during lunch."

Emma grinned, "Yeah you do."

We walk all together to homeroom.

Today's a chill day because tomorrow spring break starts so most the classes are laid back. School ends at lunch so it's my favorite day. I sit at our usual table in our homeroom classroom and tell Emma and Aria everything that happened between me, James, and Noah.

Emma's jaw is dropped and Aria is grinning all big and stupid.

I giggle, "It's not really a big deal guys."

Aria shook my arm, "OH MY GOSH. What the literal heck? It is a big deal. Bish, we need to go shopping sometime for youu."

Emma joins in on Aria's excitement, "Yess!!!! I'm coming along!!"

––––––––

The entire day I walked around school, I've been exchanging shy smiles from Noah but James wouldn't look at me.

During lunch, I'm sitting with my friends and my phone dings. I glance at my phone and see James' name on the notification. I click on it and read his text. It says:

"hey can i talk to you?'

I bite my lip while my fingers hover over the keyboard. I really don't know what he's going to say. But I have a hunch. Oh my godddd.. I really don't want to be more than friends. I mean I'd like to be but there's Noah. I sigh and reply:

"sure. near the lockers."

James replys right away.

"sounds good *thumbs up emoji*"

I stand up from the table and tell my friends I need to go to the bathroom. Aria gives me a wink and the other girls catch up to what's going on. Hana grins and waves bye. I walk away from the table and make my way to the lockers. When I get there, James is there waiting. I fiddle with my hairband on my wrist as I walk towards him. He's leaning on the wall and when he sees me, he quickly stand straight and faces me. I bite my lip.

"H-hey uh James.. What's... up?"

James runs his fingers through his dark hair which falls back down over his lashes.

"I just wanted to talk. I know I... uhm.. kissed you back during laser tag."

I feel uneasy, "Yeah?"

"It's just that... I... I found someone else."

My heart droops slightly, "You um found someone else?"

"...I'm sorry if you thoug-"

I cut him off abruptly, "No! No, no, it's not- I mean.. I'm not- It's ok."

"Oh...ok.."

I laugh nervously, "I mean it was just one kiss so.. It didn't mean anything."

James looks relieved, "I'm.. glad."

I force a smile, "You're my best friend, James. And it's going to stay that way."

I purse my lips and take a step backwards.

"I'm glad you found someone...."

The back of my eyes sting slightly.

James smiles, "Thanks, Erin. I'm glad we're friends."

I shrug, smiling and keeping the tears back, "Yeah, see you around."

I spin around as James waves bye and briskly walk off to the bathroom. I rush into the girl's room and close a stall door behind me. I sit on the closed lid toilet and let a silent tear run down my cheek, waiting for the bell to ring. I'm so confused. I didn't want James and dreaded that he'd ask me to be his girlfriend. But still it hit me like an arrow when he told me he found someone else. I wanted Noah but I guess somewhere in my heart I wanted James to be more than just a friend.

I shake away my thoughts as the bell rings loudly and I rush to the front door and walk to my brother's car, waiting for him to come. I wave bye to my friends as they pass by. And after what seemed like forever, Connor comes walking out from behind the school, his hand on his girlfriend's back pocket. When they reach the bus where Connor's girlfriend, Raquel stops in front and grabs his shirt. They make out right there and Raquel waves bye as she steps on the bus. Connor comes walking towards me and I look away, waving to London, pretending I just didn't see him and Raquel make out.

Connor unlocks the car and I step in the passenger's seat. I go on my phone and start texting Aria about what happened. Connor silently starts up the car and drives slowly, not bothering to talk to me. He plays our favorite band on the car as we sit in silence.

––––––––

After 5 minutes of driving we arrive home and Connor makes a beeline for home. I lock the car for him and slowly exhale, trying not to be bothered about the James situation. I see Noah in front of his house, rummaging for his key in his bag. A flame sparks in my chest and I quickly walk towards Noah. He looks up and sees me walking quickly towards him and smiles sweetly and waves. But I keep going. I'm ten feet away from him then I'm there. I jump up the stairs and kiss Noah. Noah almost looses balance from the force from my body and is surprised. I break the kiss while he's surprised and move back to see a very surprised face. Noah looks absolutely taken aback and confused as heck. We gaze into each other's eyes for a second and he moves in and returns the kiss. We melt in the kiss right there in front of Noah's door.

A car pulls up to a house a couple houses down from Noah's but we're to busy to notice. From the car, James steps out and freezes to see me and Noah kissing at Noah's door. James quickly looks away, locks the car, and walks into his house with confused feelings.

After a solid minute, we break the kiss. Noah still looks a little shocked and grins like he doesn't believe that just happened. I'm panting and grinning all stupid too. We kinda stand there, looking at each other and both being a little shocked. I step backwards, biting my lip. I grin big and look down at my shoes. Noah watches me walk backwards awkwardly and smiles. I half wave a bye to him and walk off briskly to my house. As I'm walking away, I bite my lip again and smile all big and happy, completely oblivious to what was bothering me just a few minutes ago.