Little [Harry Styles]

[1]

January 16th 2015

***

"He's got rights Marn" Nora sighed, taking a seat on the floor in front of the baby bouncer. Isabella squealed excitedly and reached her hands out towards her as she pushed with her legs to make the seat bounce up and down.

"Thank you for the reminder...but, we've managed this far without him, and we sure as hell can manage a lot longer" I sighed, keeping my back turned away from her and gripping my phone in my hand tighter.

"I never said you couldn't but-"

I spun around on my heel, meeting her eyes as she sent me a sympathetic look.

"So drop it," I snapped, shooting her a warning look, "I will make the decisions for my daughters future."

The subject of Isabella's real Dad had always been a sensitive one. It was also a topic that practically everyone I knew seemed to have an opinion on, and they didn't make an effort to hide it. It wasn't the first time the subject had been brought up, ever since I'd found out I was pregnant I'd had the same conversation a million times over, and my patience over the whole thing was wearing thin.

I knew everyone had mine and Isabella's best intentions at heart, but it didn't make it any less frustrating when everyone believed they knew what was best for my daughter, for us.

"I know you will, I never said you can't...I just think he deserves to know he has a daughter, and Isabella deserves to know about her Dad." I didn't respond, instead turning my attention to Isabella and taking her from the bouncer.

You wouldn't know she was his, she'd missed out on the green eyes and, so far, the curly hair although at only five months there was still time for that to change. Instead, she adorned my striking blue eyes and a head of thick dark hair that I would always claim she inherited from me; I loved that she was unmistakably mine. The pregnancy had been filled with the worry of people figuring out who her Dad was, that it would be too easy to put two and two together and that soon enough her entire childhood would be splashed across the front of every tabloid in every shop all over the globe.

"I've told you anyway," I sighed, turning to face Nora who was still sat on the floor, she looked up with raised eyebrows, telling me to continue. "Even if I did want to get in touch with him, I wouldn't even know where to start. I deleted his number and practically every trace I had of him."

Him. Even saying his name threw up memories I'd tried for so long to forget. Memories that hurt to even think about, never mind remember properly. I'd locked that period of my life away in a box at the back of my mind for so long, and that's where I was quite happy for it to stay.

"I think I've still got it somewhere." She mused, reaching for her phone before I stepped forward, catching her attention quickly as she drew her hand back.

"Can we just drop it? Please?" I pleaded.

Nora hesitated before nodding, agreeing to drop the topic before returning her attention to whatever reality show she'd been watching on the TV while I fed Isabella.

I couldn't deny that the thought of telling him has crossed my mind, in fact I'd thought about it a lot; constantly engaging in a never-ending battle with myself on what the right thing to do was. The right thing for Isabella.

I'd spent time thinking about the kind of relationship they'd have if he was in her life, the kind of Dad he'd be; but in reality it would probably be a lot more difficult than everyone liked to make out. His career had taken off hugely since we'd split up, and most of his time was spent doing one thing or another and the reality was that he had little to no time for anything, let alone a child.