Little [Harry Styles]

[17]

18th April 2015

***

"You've got everything? Nappies? Bottles? Blankets? Wipes-" I continued to rummage through the bag that I'd already filled with Isabella's things and checked four times. 

"Yes Marnie, I've got everything, I promise you...we'll be fine. Just go and a good day with Nora, yeah?" 

I took my bottom lip in between my teeth and looked up at him; I knew they'd be fine. Harry was more than capable of looking after his own daughter for a couple of hours, I knew that, but being apart from Isabella felt so unnatural to me and the thought in itself was enough to send my anxiety sky-high.

I nodded with a sigh before saying my eleventh goodbye to Isabella and thanking Harry for offering to take care of her for the day, and also making him promise if anything were to happen. I watched from the doorstep as he secured Isabella into her car seat, checking the straps multiple times before looking to me with a slight nod of the head as a goodbye. The car drove away slowly before it disappeared completely as it turned the corner at the end of the road.

Nora arrived not long after they'd left, quickly brushing off my nervous state with a wave of her hand and the promise of a "fun-filled" day she'd already planned. The day had been planned for a while; Harry had asked numerous time for the opportunity to spend some time on his own with Isabella and, despite the fact that it made me more nervous than words could describe, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to spend some time with Nora without a baby crying every fifteen minutes.

What I didn't count on when agreeing to this was that my anxiety would be through the roof the entire time and my thoughts would be riddled with worries over how they were coping without me.

Two hours later we found ourselves sat at a table in a restaurant that I hadn't taken notice of the name of. The bags of shopping we'd gotten sat at our feet as we sipped on our drinks and laughed about whatever it was the conversation was about. I had to admit, as much as I loved being a Mum, spending some time alone with Nora had felt like a complete breath of fresh air. 

Sometimes I felt like being a Mum had become everything I was, as if I'd lost who I was in the midst of everything else. 

"-have you thought about her birthday?" Nora raised an eyebrow as she mindlessly stirred her drink with the straw.

"I don't know, probably something small, a family party or something."

She scoffed, "you're telling me Mr Big-shot-popstar-Daddy over there isn't going to throw her a huge party?"

"She'll be one Nora. She's hardly going to remember it." I rolled my eyes at her suggestion, "and anyway...I'm not asking anything like that of Harry, you know that."

 "Well, why not? It's not like he hasn't got it, she's his daughter too, just think of how epic the party would be." She raised her eyebrows and lowered her voice slightly, a half joking tone lightly washing over her words, "...the guest list."

I shook my head with a sigh. "She's only eight months, there's plenty of time for party planning."

"Spoil sport...I bet Isabella would want a first birthday party with an A list guest list." She pouted slightly as I laughed with her, knowing she was mostly joking despite the completely serious tone in her voice. "Whatever, have you spoken to him about going back to work? I know there's still a long time to go but it'll be here-"

My eyes darted away from Nora and in the direction of where my phone was vibrating on one side of the table, my stomach dropping as soon as my eyes saw Harry's name lighting up the screen. I held my hand up, stopping Nora quickly as I answered the call and lifted the phone to my ear without even taking a second to say hello.