Bad Name (McCree X Reader)

Chapter 31: Apologies

You sit alone in your hospital bed, holding your arm. The crook of your arms and the backs of your hands are beginning to bruise from how forcefully you tore out your IVs. There's a large lurch in your stomach. You scramble to stand up from your bed, trying not to unhook yourself from any machines. The tips of your fingers tingle and your head goes fuzzy. You fall to your knees. You plant both hands on the floor and wretch. A slimy, off-white concoction of undigested dog food, bile and semen slides up your throat and out of your mouth. It falls to the linoleum floor with a disgusting splat.
You heave, feeling like there's more vomit about to come up.
The door opens, but you don't look up. You stick out your tongue and gag as more bile flows out of your mouth, burning your throat worse than any whiskey has. You feel a hand on your back and a paper towel against your lips.
You look up and see Jesse through your teary eyes.
Jesse wipes your mouth and chin with a paper towel and starts to clean up your vomit. You weakly grab his hand and shake your head.
"N-no... s...stop..." you squeak hoarsely, "I c...can..."
Jesse wraps his hand around your wrist and puts it on your leg. "Stop. I'm doing this for you."
You cover your mouth as your cheeks fill up with vomit. Jesse quickly grabs a trash can from the corner of the room, bringing it to your face. You grab it and continue to throw up. Jesse kneels behind you, holding your sweat-soaked hair back. You cry into the trash can, coughing up whatever is left in your system.
Jesse picks you up and carries you over to the bathroom. He rolls up his sleeves and begins to run a bath for you. Once the tub is filled, he strips you down and sets you down in the bath. The water is so warm and relaxes your muscles immediately.
Jesse kneels down on the bath mat and scrubs the dirt off your back. He begins humming a song to himself.
"I have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me..." he mutters, singing, "I have never known hunger like these insects that feast on me..."
You listen to your fiancé sing. He's singing as though you can't hear him.
"A thousand teeth, and yours among them, I know..." Jesse washes your arm, making sure to avoid any IVs. "Our hunger's appeased... our heartbeats becoming slow..."
Jesse pumps a bit of soap into the palm of his hand. You back up as much as you can out of instinctual fear. He calms you down and reassures you that it's just shampoo. You lean back as he lathers the shampoo into your hair.
"We lay here for years or for hours, thrown here or found, to freeze or to thaw..." he sings a bit louder, "So long, we become the flowers... two corpses we were, two corpses I saw."
Jesse washes the soap out of your hair with a cup of water. "And they'd find us in a week, when the weather gets hot... after the insects have made their claim, I'd be home with you. I'd be home with you."
You begin to recognize the song Jesse is singing. Before he can start the next verse, you quietly join in.
"I-I have never known sleep like this slumber that creeps to me..." you squeak, "I have never known color like this morning reveals to me..."
Jesse looks surprised that you're not only singing in the state you're in, but you know what song he's singing.
Your throat clears up a little, so you raise your voice. "And you haven't moved an inch, such that I would not know... If you sleep always like this, the flesh calmly going cold..."
Without looking at each other, you begin to harmonize. "We lay here for years or for hours... Your hand in my hand, so still and discreet... So long, we'd become the flowers... We'd feed well the land and worry the sheep... And they'd find us in a week, when the cattle show fear. After the insects have made their claim, after the foxes have had their taste, I'd be home with you... I'd be home with you..."

After Jesse takes you out of the bath, you sit on your hospital bed in a clean gown. You bury your face in your hands and begin to sob. Jesse sits on the bed next to you, holding you as you cry.
"God... I'm so s-sorry..." you heave.
Jesse flinches. "{Y/N}, don't you dare ever apologize for what happened. You did nothing wrong. You have no reason to apologize to anyone." He speaks sternly, but with massive amounts of emotion. "I'm sorry I get in such deep shit that I drag you in with me."
You shrug. "I don't mind a little excitement in my life."
Jesse scoffs. "Christ, pumpkin. You work for Overwatch, what more excitement is out there?"
You look up at Jesse and smile. "I dunno. I'd love to find out with you. I want to travel with you. I think it'd be fun. Besides... I don't think I'm cut out for this whole Overwatch thing. I've been thinking... and I think I just want to live a quiet life. Hang up my gun for good. No Overwatch, no assassinations. I'll never take another life for as long as I live."
"I'm proud of you." Jesse smiles sweetly at you.