Teacher | Ashton Irwin

Twenty Nine

I walked downstairs to see Ryan drinking his coffee as he leant up against the counter. He was dressed in a white shirt, black suit, black trousers, black shoes and black tie.

I wore a lace black dress which came to my mid-thigh. It was a v-neck with long sleeves. It was beautiful. I paired it with a pair of black platform heels. My makeup was pretty. I had a matte, dark grey smokey eye with waterproof mascara. I lightly filled in my eyebrows so they looked natural. I wore minimal foundation but enough to cover any blemishes. I wore my hair down. It was in voluminous curls as it settled on my waist.

Ryan smiled, "You look nice. But why is Mr Irwin taking us?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I think he felt bad because we had to walk. He's just being nice."

Ryan set his mug down just as a car horn beeped. I made my way over to the window and peeped out of the blinds. There was Ashton in his black jeep. I turned to face Ryan and said, "He's here." I grabbed my speech off the table and made my way outside with Ryan following.

I sat in the passenger seat and Ryan sat in the back and Ashton drove us to the funeral place. Ashton and Ryan talked about sport the whole time while I was silently freaking out in my head. What if his mom doesn't like my speech? What if I screw it up? What If I can't read my own writing?

**

We were all sat in the second row. Lots of people from our year were here. It annoyed me how half of them barely a) knew him or b) liked him. Then again, it's all out of respect.

The man giving the service said, "And now some kind words from his beloved friend, Rachel Fox."

Ashton whispered, "You can do this."

I got up and made my way to the front. I stood behind the podium and set my speech on the wooden surface. I looked at Ashton and felt comforted. I spoke, "Usually when I think of Jack, a million thoughts run through my mind but since the shock of his passing, I can barely string one sentence together. Jack was a loving friend who deserved only the best. I may have only known him for a short while but that period of time was enough for him to become my best friend. As Charles Darwin once said, 'A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth'. I um...-" I froze. Tears escaped my eyes, rolling down my cheek. I put my head down in shame.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ashton hurry down the aisle. He stood beside me and asked, "Can you continue or shall I?"

I couldn't even talk, I just pointed at him. Ashton said, "I'm going to be finishing Rachel's speech for her."

I completely tuned out as I saw Jack's open casket. He looked like himself. He was always a deathly pale colour. He was dressed in white shirt with a black suit and a lovely dark purple tie. He had a rose, the same shade of purple attached to his suit panels. He had his lip ring in. I noticed that a piece of his hair wasn't sitting right. He would be so paranoid right now if he saw it because even though his hair was messy, it always sat a certain way. I had to fix it for him. I did just that.

I walked a few steps behind Ashton, to his coffin. I reached into it and brushed the piece of hair so it sat in the right place. I then just stood, gazing at his once full of life body that was now cold and lifeless.

Ashton had finished my speech for me. He walked over to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, walking me back to my seat.

After the service and burial, everyone went home except me. I stood with a red rose in my hand. I stood alone at his new grave. The reason I chose a red rose is because it reminded me of him greatly. Even though he had pale skin, he always had deep red lips.

There were about 15 wreaths or bouquets of flowers over his grave. I looked at the flower as I spoke, "I feel bad for not bringing you something expensive but instead I brought you something meaningful. I knew you wouldn't want me wasting money on something that wastes and dies eventually. I didn't quite get the goodbye I wanted so I may as well finish what I started. With my free hand, I brought out the crinkled speech. I said, "As Charles Darwin once said, 'A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth'. I don't agree with this. Jack... You," I corrected myself, "You are worth more than I could ever give you. You only deserved the best people to suit the person you are. I never got my proper goodbye but I think you wouldn't have ever let me say goodbye when you were alive. But just so I stay sane, I want you to know that I love you too. You were one in a million." I put my speech away and said, "I know that I can't physically see you, but I know that- I can feel you standing right by my side all the time."

"Everyone told me to tell you that your speech was truly beautiful," I was startled by Ashton. I turned and saw him slowly walking towards me, "I'm sorry that you couldn't get the goodbye that you wanted because of your nerves."

"No," I smiled at the rose in my hands. I turned around and lay the rose in a free spot in the middle of the mound of soil. I turned to face Ashton and smiled, "Maybe I didn't say my whole speech at the funeral but Jack heard my first bit in that room. He also heard the last part right here a minute ago. This was the perfect goodbye."