Teacher | Ashton Irwin

Thirty Five

We only stopped off once for dinner. Now I'm in bed. We're in a motel. It's a simple place but it's alright. I lay on one side of the double bed in my panties and my top I had on earlier. I was facing the window, away from Ashton's side of the bed.

I felt the other side of the bed sink down as he climbed in. His bare chest pressed against my back as his muscular arms wrapped around my waist. I didn't move a muscle.

He kissed the back of my neck and whispered, "Mine?"

My mind battled with my heart over whether to reply or not. Finally my mind won; I stayed silent. He kissed my shoulder and repeated, "Mine?" It broke my heart. He whispered, "Baby, are you awake?"

"Yes," I hesitantly whispered.

He leaned up onto his elbow to look at me. I could see the fear and sadness in his eyes. He whispered, "Why won't you reply?" He kissed my neck. "Mine?" I could hear the sadness and fear in his voice.

I silently slid out of bed. Ashton leaned up and asked in a panic, "Where are you going?"

I turned and smiled, "Bathroom." I walked into the bathroom and locked the door.

I walked into the mirror. I knew what was wrong. The lines on my wrist were not visible anymore. No wonder he hasn't said anything before, he hasn't seen them. I suddenly know why I feel so empty. Whenever I see the lines on my skin it reminds me that I'm alive and I feel human emotions too. Without them, I feel lost.

I realised that there was nothing I could do about it until I got home so I decided to plaster a fake smile on my face.

So there wouldn't be any questions, I flushed the chain before unlocking the door and walking out. Ashton was sat looking distraught. He had his face in his hands. I crawled onto the bed. I sat on his duvet covered lap, facing him. I placed my hands on top of his and removed his hands from his face. There was a tear on his cheek. I smiled at him and wiped his cheeks with my thumb as I whispered, "Yours."

He smiled and kissed me. It wasn't too long but just long enough. This was my reassurance.

I crawled under the covers. I lay on my front, my left side of my body on his as my left hand played with the end of his curls on the back of his neck. I whispered, "Yours."

"Forever and Always," Ashton whispered.

I smiled, "I like that one. We can keep it as a backup phrase."

"Go to sleep baby. Long day tomorrow," his deep voice said.

I sighed happily, "Goodnight Ash."

"Goodnight princess," he breathed, fatigue present in his voice.