Teacher | Ashton Irwin

The End

I sat at the kitchen table in one of Ashton's flannels, clutching the mug of hot chocolate in my hands while the tears streamed down my face as I cried silently.

I'm now 34 and Ashton and I have been married for nine years. We have two children. Jessica and Fletcher. They still ask me when Ashton's returning from tour; they're too young to understand.

The truth is, Ashton passed away a month ago. He was in a car with Calum, Michael and Luke; He was driving. A drunk driver hit the car, killing all of them instantly, apart from Michael. Ashton would've been 37 today.

Jessica has dark blond hair and bright blue eyes. Although she gets her looks from me, she has Ashton's personality and giggle.

Fletcher. when I look at Fletcher, I see Ashton staring back at me. He has his fathers dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes and beautiful dimples. He also has Ashton's personality and giggle. He's literally the younger version of Ashton. He was seven and also very intelligent, they both are. Him and his sister are both very intelligent. Even though he's only seven and Jessica is four, I think they know that Ashton won't be returning home.

I finished my hot chocolate so I decided to walk upstairs and get ready for bed. I peered into both of the kids' rooms and they were fast asleep.

I went into my room. I walked into the en-suite bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. The tears were only rolling down my cheek now. I put my hair up in a messy bun before walking back into our room.

I noticed on his side of the wardrobe, the door was slightly ajar. I walked over and opened it. I lifted out the suit he wore for the Grammys, sitting it on the bed. It was soon joined by his fedora, box of bandanas and his flannels. Under his flannels was the scrapbook he started for us when we were younger.

I flicked through it, looking at all the photos, the happy memories came flooding back. He had written little notes about what was happening in the photos, the occasion and the date.

There were two photos on the second last page. The first one was us kissing at our wedding and we couldn't look happier. Below it was the photo of me in hospital, holding Jessica when she was only hours old. Ashton was laying beside me with Fletcher on his knee. We were all smiling brightly. In the middle of both the photos he had written 'the beginning'. The beginning of our life as a couple for our wedding photo and the beginning of our life together as a family for the second.

I flipped the page and a piece of paper fell onto the floor. I gently placed the scrapbook on the bed and bent down, picking up the piece of paper.

Ashton had written a letter.

Rachel,

If you have found this then it means I didn't make it. Never forget that I love you. I love you, Fletcher and Jessica so much.
Don't worry about me, I probably died of having a heart attack because I blared my music too loud when I'm really old or something!
Take care of Lauren, Harry and most of all, my mom. I know her and my dad recently split up because, well, he's a douche.
Take care of Jessica and Fletcher for me. I wish I could be there to help you take care of those rascals.

I'm currently lying in bed alone. Even though you aren't here, I'm the happiest man alive because today you gave birth to our daughter. Now we have the perfect family! I'm so proud of you!

Please take care of the boys for me. I know they have their own families, they will never grow up. Let them know that I love them and they made my dream come true.

Most of all, take care of yourself. Rachel, every time I saw another new line on your skin during the early stages of our relationship, it kills a little bit of me. I hate seeing you sad, so for my sake, smile. I love your smile and your laugh and everything about you. Actually, the boys made one of my dreams come true. Rachel, you made the most important dream to me come true. I lived the perfect life with the perfect wife and family.

I love you so much,
Forever and Always,

Ashton :)
Aged 33.