Teacher | Ashton Irwin

Forty One

He had his arms folded across his chest as he leant against his porch. I stood still, frozen actually.

Ashton began to walk towards his house, shaking his head. I sprinted past Calum and everyone else. I ran up Ashton's driveway and managed to grasp his arm, causing him to stop walking and turn to face me. The look in his eyes tore me apart.

He grabbed my hand and dragged me into his house, slamming the door behind him. I suddenly felt 100% sober. I said, "Ashton, I can explain-"

"There's nothing to explain," he sighed and walked off into his living room.

I followed him like a lost puppy. He paced the living room, back and forth. He rubbed his face with his hands and said, "you know what? I'll let you fucking explain."

"Ashton. I got a text from Calum to walk outside and so I went out. I was asking him why he sounded so... Strange, when he kissed me out of nowhere. I swear Ashton, he kissed me," I said. It wasn't a lie.

He said, "Well it didn't look like you were trying to pull away."

"Well maybe that's what I needed," I screamed, "Maybe I needed a wake up call. I like being able to go out with someone i love in public. I like to go where I want, when I want and do whatever I want. We can't have that."

"Well maybe you do need a wakeup call. A wake up call that you aren't in a perfect relationship," he yelled.

I was very taken back by his sudden outburst. I yelled, "I know this relationship isn't perfect. Believe me, I know. Do you want to know why? Because you're a teacher and I'm your student. This isn't even legal. I don't even know why we're trying to make this work because the evidence clearly supports the fact that it will never work."

"Well why have we been trying for the past month," he ran his hand through his hair and turned to face the window, "if you really wanted to, we would've stopped trying ages ago."

"Ashton I don't want to stop trying," I yelled, letting the tears fall down my cheeks. It killed me to be having a fight with him, our first proper fight. He looked so hurt and disappointed in me but to be honest, I feel disgusted with myself.

"Well seeing you kiss another guy doesn't prove that you want to be with me," he yelled. He ran his hands through his hair before turning to face me. He was crying too.

"Do you think it's fun to see you flirt with other girls?" I shrieked, "I got kissed by a guy. Okay, maybe I kissed Calum back for a few seconds but I was drunk. The second i caught onto the fact that I was basically cheating on you, I pulled away. You intentionally stare at girls."

"Don't try and turn this around on me," he yelled, "I might have kissed a girl when I was drunk a couple of weeks ago but I told you and it's over with."

"You did what?" I slowly yelled. He kissed another girl?

"I told you," he said.

I yelled, "No you didn't. I can't believe you. I can't believe you would do that to me. I got kissed but you kissed someone."

"I'm sorry," he approached me. He held my shoulders but I avoided eye contact. He said, "I'm so so sorry."

I didn't look at him, I couldn't. I walked over and sat on the sofa. I stared blankly ahead of me to try and comprehend what he was telling me.

He sat down on the coffee table in front of me with his head in his hands. He said, "I kissed someone and so did you. Call it even?"

I looked at him finally, "Call it even?" I growled, "if you hit someone and they hit you back, then you call it even. This isn't as easy as this."

He stood up and yelled, "Well you hurt me too. You seem to have forgotten why we're in this mess."

"I don't even know anymore ashton," I sighed.

"What do you want Rachel? What is it that you want?" He asked.

I didn't answer, I just stared blankly ahead of me.

He said, "You know what? I can't deal with this if you aren't going to speak."

I stood up and looked him in the eye. "Fine. If you want me to talk then I'll talk. I don't want to keep us a secret anymore-"

"We have to. I'll probably go to jail or something," he sighed.

"But the secrecy is slowly killing me Ashton," my voice faltered as it could feel the tears brimming in my eyes. "It's killing me. I want to show you off because you're perfect and everything I could ask for. I just don't know if I can handle all this."

"Will you make up your mind?" He asked. I know he didn't mean for it to sound harsh, but it hurt, "You either want us or you don't."

I walked over to the door and said, "Ashton, I want us. But to be honest, I think if I walked out that door, you wouldn't try to stop me."

"I..." His voice trailed off as he couldn't find the words to say.

"Speak up now or I'm away," the tears streamed down from my eyes. "So how's it going to be?"

He didn't say anything. He just looked at me with sadness filling his eyes. "You should go," he whispered.

"Goodbye Ashton," I whispered before walking into the hall and out of his house.