I'll Sing For Me

19.

I kept my head down as Dean, Tommy and I went to the hall for study period. I felt very uncomfortable by now, in my skirt. I was constantly pushing up my glasses and squeezing my beanie in my hand.

Sitting on the stage, I took out the books I needed, revising my work when all the drama started.

Lisa and Darla. I wanted to scream at them to leave me alone but I was muted. I was scared.

"Oh, look, Darla. Look who is pretending to be something she isn't." I overheard Lisa. "She can change her hair colour, but it still doesn't hide the fact that she will always be a nobody."

I stared into my book, not reading any words. My body was rigid, my face tight and I could feel eyes on me.

"Shut the fuck up, Lisa!" Dean then snapped, making me look at him in surprise.

"Dean." I whispered at him, packing my things up. It will be easier and better if I just leave. "Please don't."

Dean frowned at me, annoyance on his face.

"See, she has nothing to say to our faces. Just a snitch behind our backs." Lisa sneered. I felt so angry yet embarrassed. I could feel more eyes on me. The hall had about thirty people in there and the school thought we were responsible enough not to have a teacher in here.

Swinging my bag on to my back as I stood up, I saw the surprised looks Dean and Tommy gave me.

"Don't defend me." I told Dean before I walked away.

The only problem was, I had to walk past Lisa, Darla and Michelle to leave. All three were smirking at me.

"Bye bye. Slag." I heard Lisa and that was it, I snapped. My bag dropping to the ground, I lunged to her and the whole hall erupted in cheers and yelling.

"Fight! Fight!" They chanted as I went straight for Lisa. My fist was scrunched tight as I got her in the nose, making her scream out in pain. I didn't give her a chance to get up as I was on top, slapping her, yelling.

"Who's a slag?" I screamed at her. I saw the blood on her face but it wasn't enough to stop. "What about you and Alec? Does Matthew know? Does Zoe know?" I screeched out. I felt Lisa scratch me across my face, making me hiss and before I could hit Lisa again, strong arms went around my waist and lifted me.

I was thrashing about, everyone was wild and feral and I was pulled away.

"What is going on here?" A staff member boomed out, making everyone go silent.

"Sir!" Lisa cried out, holding her face with one hand and pointing to me with her other hand. "She attacked me!"

I still had arms around my waist but my feet were back on the ground as I managed to get out off the grip. Thats when I noticed it was Dean.

"Whatever." I mumbled, leaving the hall. I didn't collect my bag, I just marched out. There was still thirty minutes till next class and I didn't have a pass to leave class. I wanted to leave the school completely, take a walk when I heard my name being called out. Groaning, I slowed my pace.

It wasn't anyone I knew calling out to me. The person had come up to me and smiled softly. "Hi, Elizabeth." She said kindly to me.

"Hi." I mumbled back, still walking, heading to the school gate.

"I'm Diane. I'm the guidance counsellor." Her hair was loose and long, light brown with strands of grey. She did have a kind face, but I was in a mood.

"I don't need guidance nor counselling." I snapped at her. I just wanted to leave. I thought Lisa would have been expelled after her last stunt with me, but I guess that wasnt the case.

"That's fine. How about I walk with you?"

Frowning, I slowed my pace, turning slightly to her. "Why? Because Ally spoke to you? Or Stephanie. I don't need help. I don't need anyone."

"Yes, I've spoken to Ally. She told me you might be sensitive on some subjects. She only wants best for you."

I paused in my steps, thinking hard. Ally does care for me, more than my own parents. Sighing, I spun to Diane.

"I know you have a small circle of friends and that's great that you do. Your friend, Stephanie, is very concerned for you."

That made my ears prick up. "Why? What has she said to you?" I didn't want anyone else knowing my burdens.

Diane didn't say anything to me, but it was on her face. She knew. She knows I'm a rape victim. A victim of violence. "That is none of your business." I said to Diane.

"Beth!" I heard my name being called out and groaned at the familiar voice. I saw Dean heading to me and I pressed my lips together.

"It's no one's business. Fuck! Why should the whole school know?" I snapped before Dean got too close.

"Hey." He breathed out when he was finally in front of me. "You're not leaving, are you?"

I looked from Dean to Diane. Was I? I wanted to. Sighing, I shook my head. I felt so humiliated by Steph, telling the guidance counsellor my problems.

"Let's go to class." Dean offered gently, holding my bag out to me.

I snatched it and went to the direction music was in. I stayed quiet, thinking to myself.

Steph is my best friend. Why would she do that to me? Does the whole school know? Maybe they do, hence why Lisa was calling me a slag.

I didn't realise Dean was still with me till I got to the class door. "You're not in this class." I snipped at him.

"Actually, our classes has been doing lessons together for the past week."

I gritted my teeth and went into the building.

"Ah, Elizabeth, so good to see you're back." Mr Wood greeted me. "Now, we have been combining our classes because you all have an assessment piece coming up. It will be a group activity. Duets or bands. No solo acts."

I groaned as I slouched. Some people turned to me with weird looks but I ignored them.

"Continue with your rehearsals." Mr Wood said as the other teacher, his wife, Mrs Wood came in.

I turned to Dean. "Let me guess. You're my partner?"

"That's correct, Elizabeth." Mr Wood interrupted me. "What better partner than two people that like to be solos?"

"Yeah." Was Dean's gruff answer. "Look, I don't mind fucking about with Tommy, but I do prefer to do this solo."

I pulled a face, basically stating me too. Sighing, I knew I couldn't get out of it. "Fine. What stupid song do we have to sing? I'm not doing any rap, heavy metal or boy band crap."

"Shallow."

I immediately knew the song. "No." I shook my head. "Nope. Not doing it."

"Beth." I liked how Dean said Beth. It sounded different to how Steph says it. Steph, I'm still annoyed about. "I didn't get to pick the song. I'm not impressed either. But I need this to pass as I don't do group effort."

I nearly scoffed at him. I know Dean does, but then I thought about it, no, he doesn't. He is like me, prefers to be alone. I stick with my friend, he sticks with his.

"This is stupid!" I hissed at him.

"Just grab a damn guitar."

"I'm not singing."

"You have to. I've heard you sing. You are pretty good at it." Then he cracked me a smile and I instantly turned my eyes away, trying to hide a small smile.