I'll Sing For Me

45.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Dean asked me.

I nodded at him. "Yeah, I'm just so tired." I told him. "I'm having difficulties sleeping." I admitted to Dean. It's been three nights since that nightmare about Dean first surfaced and I've had it every night. It scares me because it feels so real but I didn't tell Dean what it was about.

"Why is that?" He asked as we pulled up at Mel's place. I shrugged my shoulders in response.

I didn't tell Dean that Mel had left for a few nights and I lied straight to him. "I better go. Aunty Mel will be home soon and I promised her I would clean up before she got home."

"Okay."

Dean walked me to the door and we kissed goodbye, but it felt weird to me because I had all these thoughts going on in my head.

I knew what I was doing. I've started to guard myself again and I hated doing that, especially to Dean and he must have noticed but he didn't say anything.

I locked the house up and made a sandwich for dinner before nestling on the couch and flicked through the tv channels.

I didn't want to go to sleep and my phone in my hand, I messaged Steph. But I was lying to her too. Telling her I'm fine and everything has been great. Those messages stopped around ten thirty and I still kept myself occupied with thoughts of Dean in my head, texting him and chatting through messages, not letting on about my inner thoughts nor demons of depression and anxiety trying to escape.

I didnt want to talk, because I felt my voice would betray me so I texted him instead. It was nearly midnight when I heard the noises and I jumped, petrified that some one was coming.

I stayed perfectly still on the couch, the only light from my phone and tv as I listened. Then I heard another noise, making me jump again. I wanted to investigate it but I didnt at the same time. My anxiety was eating at me, something chronic and my heart rate was pulsing so fast I could hear it in my ears.

Without a second hesitation, I rang Dean.

"Hey." Came his groggy voice. He might have just started to fall asleep.

"Dean, I'm scared." I whispered to him, keeping my eyes on the entry.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Dean sounded more alert this time.

"I keep hearing these noises and I'm not sure if it's here or not." I stuttered.

"Where's your aunt?"

"Not here."

"It could be your aunt coming home." Dean did sound slightly worried but he tried to keep a calm tone.

"It's not my aunt." I hissed at him. "She is at a hotel somewhere for her job."

I then heard rustling through the phone, like movement.

"Please, Dean, please come over." I begged softly. I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes, that knowing lump in my throat.

"I'm coming now, babe."

I took a breathe of relief.

"Just keep talking to me." He said softly as I heard car keys rustle.

"Uh, hurry." I whispered as there were more noises. It sounded like footsteps nearby. I was too scared to cry. I didn't see the point on ringing Mel as she was hours away and if someone was going to break in, she wouldn't get here in time, unlike Dean.

"I should hang up and call the police." I then stated to Dean. I could hear him start his car.

"I'm on my way." He insisted to me. Dean's place is a twenty minute drive away and I became unsure if he would be here in time in case something does happen.