I'll Sing For Me

46.

Dean stayed with me for a couple days while Mel was gone due to work and I found I had no nightmares while he did.

We may have slept in the same bed and Dean was a true gentleman. All he did was hold me. Other than that, he didn't touch me, didn't even try and I appreciate him even more for that.

It was three days after the dog at my house incident that I, not Dean, I went further than kissing. I touched.

We were pressing our lips together, sitting on the bed, making out when my hands decided they wanted more. They went up his shirt and against the skin on Dean's chest. Then I pushed him on to the bed, making Dean lay down as I straddled him, a leg on each side and kept kissing him.

I wanted to slow down, I did, but I wanted to keep going. There was something inside of me, wanting more and I never felt like this before, ever. I know I'm a teenager and our hormones get the best of me, I get that, but this feeling, I didn't expect it and it made me press on, urging to continue.

"Slow down, Beth." Dean urged to me but I kept going, pressing myself down on to him, kissing him harder.

Then I felt something that made me still, holding my breathe and I jumped off Dean immediately. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry!" I cried out, getting to the other end of the bed as Dean quickly sat up. "I didn't mean to!"

I know what I did and I was mortified at myself for doing it.

I gave Dean an erection.

I tried looking anywhere but at him, including his lap. I felt my face heat up in my embarrassment.

"It's okay Beth." Dean groaned out, rubbing a hand over his face.

"This is awkward." I muttered, getting off the bed.

Dean let out a chuckle. "How about we go do something?"

I agree with him. "Yeah, um, something, anything."

"Yeah, just give me a minute here." Dean mumbled out as he pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut.

****

We didn't mention about what happened before again and Dean and I decided to go to the mall, meet up with Tommy.

The boys were sitting at a table, eating lunch and I was a few metres away, on the phone to Steph.

"What do you mean?" She asked me after I told her I felt strange earlier.

"We were kissing and it was getting, uh, heavy, like, really heavy." I whispered loudly. "I didn't want to stop, I wanted to, you know, keep going."

"And?"

"I had this feeling come over me, wanting me to go further. Like, I've never felt that before. This is embarrassing." I muttered lowly, keeping an eye out around me, making sure no one heard me. "Please don't tell anyone. This is embarrassing as it is." I hissed at her when I heard her giggles.

I saw Dean and Tommy talking but I couldn't hear them.

"Oh, Bethie. Honestly, I think I know what you mean. You were horny."

I stilled at her words but continued to listen.

"You were all amped up, hot and heavy and your body was screaming at you, wanting to have sex!" She giggled again.

I was wide eyed at the revelation. I never felt that way before. "So it's natural?"

"Yes!"

"That was my body telling me that I was wanting it?" I continued to whisper.