Balance of Probabilities // Billie Eilish

xanny

"So where did Mrs O'Connell come from?" I asked Billie as we mindlessly watched some cartoons in her room.

Although her room was red, I could still see the blush on her cheeks.

"I knew you'd remember and bring this up" she groaned into my chest which was rising with laughter "well when we first arrived at the hospital the nurse lady said only immediately can visit those in ICU, so I just said we were married and boom they let us in"

"You're so cute" I murmured stroking her head softly.

"Fuck off"

"But you are" I shot back with a grin.

"How are handling everything though? Do you still want to go tomorrow?" Billie asked seriously.

"Yeah, I want to try again I think" I mumbled.

Dads been in a coma for three days now and no improvements have shown, if anything he's getting worse. While we were visiting him yesterday, just Billie and I, his heartbeat became weak and close to not being there at all.

Which sent me into another panic attack.

I haven't been one to have anxiety in the past, but at the moment I've never been more anxious in my life.

The smallest things make me nervous and Doctor Tait even offered to right me a script for Xanny's because she could sense my struggle.

But I don't want to rely on medication to feel better.

"I'm so proud of you Alex" Billie told me, and I looked down at her confused.

"Why? I've done nothing but sleep, cry and have panic attacks"

"Shut up" Billie pushed my head "give yourself more credit, in between your sleeping and crying you've been visiting your dad, comforting the twins and making sure your up to date with your classes. Even with all this going on, you're still the strongest person I've ever met pretty girl" she leant over to hover above me and place a soft peck.

I locked my arms around her neck "thank you baby, but I'd never be able to do it without you and your family. You're my rock as cringy as it sounds, I love you"

"I love you more A—"

"LEXI!" Ava screamed behind Billie's door and began pounding her fists against it "the hospital just called Maggie" I sat up quickly as Billie rolled off me to put her clothes on and throwing some clean ones from her closet in my general direction "dads awake"

Holy shit,

Dad's finally awake.

On the ride over Ava clutched my hand so tight I thought it was going to fall off.

On the walk through the hospital she didn't let go of me and we watched as Aiden sprinted to dads room.

I too wanted to sprint but also knew that Ava needed the comfort more.

Billie drove us but dropped us at the front so we could go in first and she'd park the car then make her way up.

"-I'm good Aiden" dads voice echoed out the door as we walked in.

My eyes weld up with tears and I threw my arms around dads neck.

"Hello, my cherubs" he gave out a hearty laugh but began coughing.

"Do you need water? Where's your cup? Why didn't the nurse offer you water—"

"Lexi!" Dad placed his hand on mine "calm down sweetie, I'm all good just a cough. But I'd love a canned coke" he laughed a little at my fretting.