_________________________________________________Jennie 's POV
Do you ever feel like you aren't loved by anyone ?
Don't you ever feel so useless that you just want to disappear thinking that nobody would even think about you ever again ?I do , every single day .
I cry every night praying for someone to take my life because nothing holds me back .
Not even the person that I love since she doesn't love me back and never did.I did everything to keep her away from every men that came close to her even if it actually hurt her .
Was it toxic ? Probably but I was so hurt to know that she was with Taehyung I didn't even think twice . I had to separate them even though I knew they loved each other .I never loved Taehyung . I just didn't want him close to her . I'm a bad person for that ? Don't answer , I know that you think that I am . And I'm so sorry .
Maybe she didn't know that I still had feelings for her still .. maybe she didn't know about my one - sided love , maybe it was better like this .
I actually thought that she was just a friend but the moment I get close to her I get scared . Her eyes makes my heart flutter.But how could she really think that I didn't love her anymore ? We were in a almost relation ship in our debut days but she didn't want to do it " let's focus on the group " she said . And I respected that but then she started talking to me about her feelings for Taehyung which made me upset cause she never ended our " relationship " . The worst part is that I'm not even mad at her . Not even a little .
Lisa and Chaeyoung knew everything and tried to make me feel better everytime Jisoo would talk about a boy . But my heart she kept on being broken every single time . I kept on waiting for her .
Even wrote a song for her .
My eyes kept on looking though her and I was wondering why she was doing this to me . I just wanted her to love me harder . Just a little bit more and see me more then as a friend .If I end up like this isn't because she doesn't love me . I would never blame her .
It's because for a long time I've been thinking about this but I stayed for my members , my sisters . My mom and my fans .Of course she was THE person who really kept me alive . But it just feels like she's not here anymore and it makes me burst in tears .
There's now nothing holding me back .
Some people will for sure be happy cause they wish for death every single day and everytime I see this Jisoo always comforts me and makes me forget about all this with one glance .I look at myself in the mirror taking the pills after sending a message to Lisa and Chaeyoung who were probably sleeping by now and to Jisoo too telling her everything I wanted to say to her .
After taking the pills I sat on the ground and watched all the videos that I had with my beautiful members waiting for my eyes to shut .
~~~~~~~~~~~~
So easily, with harsh words
You put scars in my heart
Without even saying sorry
Again, I'm comforting myself
Always nervous if you're gonna leave me
I just want you to stay
In your expressionless face that's getting more and more dull
I whisper to the mirror, let's slowly let this go
You take me for granted
But that's you
But still, stay stay stay with me
This sad melody resembles you
It makes me cry eh eh
Your scent is a sweet felony
I hate you so much but i love you
Before the dark night traps me in
Don't leave me
Do you still love me?
If you feel the same, don't leave today
Don't ask why it has to be you
Just stay with me
(It goes a little something like)
I don't expect a lot right now
Just stay with me
There's nothing more I want now
I can't even tell if my heart is beating
Rather than forceful conversations with others
I'd rather be in awkward silence with you
So stay, wherever that may be
Sometimes, when darkness comes, I'll be your fire
In this world that is a lie
The only truth, it's you
This a letter from me to you
This sad melody resembles you
It makes me cry eh eh
Your scent is a sweet felony
I hate you so much but i love you
Before the dark night traps me in
Don't leave me
Do you still love me?
If you feel the same, don't leave today
Don't ask why it has to be you
Just stay with me
(It goes a little something like)
I don't expect a lot right now
Just stay with me
(It goes a little something like)
I don't expect a lot right now
Just stay with me- For Jisoo
________
Ayooo, I tried to show y'all . I tried to put some SIGHS AND NOBODY NOTICED!!!
( that's why Chaelisa didn't do anything with the Vsoo - Taennie thing and everybody was acting like it wasn't big deal btw )
But yeah guys I told y'all THE SIIIGHS !
YOU ARE READING
𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆
FanfictionDon't love someone too deeply Until you're sure that the other person loves you with the same depth Because the depth of your love today is the depth of your wound tomorrow