UNDERCOVER - Jay Halstead (1)

24- Bored

Amelia

With Jay back at work, I was bored out of my mind. All I had to think about all day was where Charles was and what was he doing. I wasn't cleared to go back to work yet and even if I was, I wasn't sure I even had a job to go back to. I drove to the hospital for my appointment with Dr Charles, who I felt was disappointed by my lack of progress. I still had the same nightmares every night, except when I was with Jay so I hadn't told him about them since I thought I had it under control.

That was until last night, when I had one next to Jay. He had woken me up by shaking me gently and brought me a glass of water, asking me to talk about it with someone. I had agreed, knowing he might be right. It was probably bigger than I thought.

I walked inside the hospital, greeting Will and Nat as I walked pass them. I went to Dr Charles' office, sitting down on the couch in front of him like usual.

"So, how are you doing Amelia?" He asked, looking at me with his gentle expression that usually kept me from hesitating about talking to him. But this time, I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my nightmares. They felt too real, too scary.

"Not that good." I admitted, looking down. He kept silent, encouraging me to continue. "I've been having these nightmares for two weeks, they happen every night. I thought I had it under control so I didn't say anything, but they've started again."

"What triggered them two weeks ago?"

"I started sleeping alone in my apartment when Charles was let out." I informed him.

"And when did they stop and when did they start again?" He asked me, needing specific informations in order to help.

"They stopped a week ago and started again last night."

"What changed a week ago for them to stop?"

"I, uh, wasn't sleeping alone anymore." I hesitated, not sure if I should have told him Jay was the one sleeping next to me or not.

"May I ask who is with you?" Dr Charles asked, making sure I was comfortable answering.

"Jay Halstead." I answered, knowing Dr Charles knew Jay very well so I didn't have to use his Detective title.

"He brings you a sense of security?" He suggested and I nodded, "Why do you think?"

"Um," I thought, collecting my thoughts to form a coherent answer, "I think because he saved me and got me out of the undercover gig I was stuck in."

"He was there for you during that time, right?" He rephrased and I nodded.

"He was. I had been alone for months until he came along." I told him, playing with my fingers.

"And what happens during those nightmares?"

"We're, uh, in the middle of a fight with them and I, um, I shoot at Charles but it ends up being Jay, not Charles. And, uh- he dies." I cut it short, I didn't really want to imagine it again.

"Does that scare you? Putting Jay in danger in any way?"

"I guess."

"Do you feel responsible for him getting shot, Amelia?" He asked, leaning forward and looking at me like he was searching the answer deep in my soul.

I looked down at the floor in shame, "I do."

-

Jay

I walked into the bullpen, smile plastered on my lips as my colleagues greeted me warmly. Voight smiled at me and told me he was glad I was back to work, admitting we had a big case to work on. It felt good to be back to work.

"So," Burgess started, walking to the white board, "Charles Roomey, 28 years old, leader of one of the biggest gang in Chicago. Got out of prison for lack of proof. Turns out he covers his ass very well."

"Yeah, he used every member of his gang to do his dirty work. Never did it himself. His prints, DNA, they're nowhere on the crime scenes. Everyone knows he's the mastermind behind everything, but we can't prove it." Upton added, sighing.

"What about him shooting me? We have a witness." I said, knowing that Amelia being a witness might be seen as a conflict of interest since she was also undercover. It would be easy to turn around in court.

"We could always try that. But we don't have anything to back up her testimony." Ruzek pointed out, making me sigh.

"Did someone wipe the whole tunnel?" Voight asked, looking at all of us for an answer.

"Well, the officers on scene took care of it since we all left for the hospital." Atwater answered, understanding where Voight was headed, "Should we go take a second look?"

"You, Burgess and Antonio." Voight pointed at the door and all of them took their coats to leave. Once they were gone, he added, "Jay, my office."

I got up and walked to his office. I shut the door behind me as he sat down at his desk. "How are you?"

"Good. Ready to work." I answered, sitting down on the chair in front of him.

"Good, how's Amelia?" Voight asked, he had been regularly asking for news about Amelia since he knew I was still seeing her.

"She can't sleep because of nightmares. Been staying at my place for about a week." I informed him, running my hands through my hair, "I think she's worried and not having anything else to do all day other than worry isn't helping."

He ignored me saying she was staying at my place and said, "I've been working with Commander Brennan about that. We're trying to work something out."

"Do you think she'll get her job back?" I asked, trying to figure out what the outcome would be.

"No, and I don't think she should." He admitted, "At least not at her old district."

"She'll get a transfer?"

"Probably."

"Where?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed as I leaned forward genuinely wondering what he was working on.

"Here."

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