House of Cards | Bulletproof book 2 | A BTS Gang AU

01: Moving On

Cold morning air blew across my face and I opened and closed my hands a few times to get my fingers working again. I held them up to my face and blew hot air into them a few times, but it wasn't doing much to help. The advertisements were already starting their top-down shut off sequence, which just served to remind me that I was in the same exact spot this time a year ago.

And I was alone then, too.

I sat on the roof of the old tuna packing warehouse with a set of binos and the Barrett M82 I borrowed from Soyeon. Neither were there because they were necessary, but because of the series of events that had led to me being freezing cold on the roof of a dilapidated building instead of warm in bed with one of my men.

The same series of events that led to them not being my men anymore.

But that didn't mean I wasn't going to still watch out for them. It was my fault all their lives were still in danger and if I couldn't protect them from inside the mansion, I would do everything in my power to protect them from wherever I could.

I waited on that cold roof for another couple hours, but no one showed up. No one had showed up for months and I was starting to wonder if they ever would. I still had yet to find out what all went on in that warehouse, but if no one was going in or out, it just meant that little part of their lives hadn't picked back up yet. My fingers itched to pick up my phone and just call one of them, but I couldn't. I'd promised Jin I wouldn't and as much as it killed me, I'd die before I broke my promise to Jin.

With a sigh, I rolled over onto my back and pushed myself up so I could start packing up my equipment in the long duffle I'd brought with me. Soyeon had been kind enough to lend me the equipment, no questions asked, so I was respectful enough to take care of it. Besides, the scope alone was worth a year's worth of the salary she was paying me.

Throwing the duffle over my back, I carefully climbed down the rusty fire escape. It creaked and whined under my weight. My joints weren't the only ones feeling weak under the strain of winter.

I jumped down from the ladder and started the mile or so hike back to the tiny apartment I'd rented for myself. It was a far cry from the mansion I'd been in just a few months ago, but it was mine and it was relatively safe, so I couldn't complain. I'd dealt with a lot worse.

By the time I made it back to my apartment, I was covered in a thin layer of cold sweat from trying to carrying everything on my own. Even though I'd been working out, it wasn't the same as what Jungkook had put me through on the mats. But then again, I wasn't supposed to think about that because it always led to pain. I missed my Jungkook. I missed all of my men, but Jin had been right to send me away.

I couldn't bear to look at any of them in the eyes that last night. They all knew something was wrong, but neither me or Jin would talk about it. We watched movies and tried to enjoy our time together, but I could barely hold myself together. By sunrise the next morning, I was gone. I tried to make the break as easily as I could to spare them a long, drawn out, goodbye.

I grunted at my own internal dialog. Who was I kidding? I was saving myself the pain of having to tell them anything. And I wasn't even sure if it had been worth it because I found myself wishing more than once that I could've had one more chance to kiss them and tell them how I really felt. Even though to do that might have opened doors that didn't need opening.

Hanging on my door was a small white note, folded in half and taped up with a tiny piece of silver duct tape. I held my bags a little tighter and glanced up and down the hallway, but there wasn't a soul in either direction. Biting my lip, I ripped the note down and unlocked my door. Once it was locked tight behind me, I leaned against it and opened the note.