For Real This Time *sequel to Playing Pretend

Ω Chapter 23

Serena's POV

I applied chapstick while looking at my self in the mirror. I wore a black tank top with a long white cardigan. I have dark jeans with light brown riding boots.

Man this morning was the best. Everyone was so pissed, but I didn't care. That was great. The living room smells like pee now, but it was all worth.

"You look nice." Nash smiled.

"Thanks," I smiled. I walked out of his bathroom and into the kitchen. Cameron sat there on his phone. I gave him a nod and grabbed me a water.

"You ready?" he asked.

"To see rice boy? No. To meet people who hate me or love me? Yeah I've been through worse." I said and walked out of there.

I checked my phone and I had two messages from Kian. I didn't even bother opening them just set my phone in my back pocket.

How in hell did I think this would make me happier?

"Hey you excited!" Hayes said walking out. I just looked at him and shrugged. His eyes sparkled and he looked so happy. He slid down the wall and plopped down with a sigh, "I love meet ups. So many girls!" he laughed.

"I bet," I rolled my eyes, "I think I might bail." I slid down next to him.

"What! Why?"

"I just feel like sleeping today. I did have class, but taking a sick day. I don't know what I want." I rambled on.

"Sounds like you're talking about something else." he laughed.

"Well yeah I guess." I shrugged. I just feel so out of it. Like my brain has been switched and everyone around me is a robot or something.

"I'm sure once we get there you'll be fine." he assured. I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

"Hope so." I whispered. He pursed his lips standing up.

"Nash better hurry." he cleared his throat and opened the door yelling in to get Nash.

..

"The fact that they can't hug you is bullshit." I shook my head, "these girls dedicate their time to your dumb ass and then not just that. NO! They spend money to meet someone which I find fucking stupid just to add that in, but it's not cheap to meet all of you, and when they get here they cant even hug you!"

"Serena it's not up to us." Nash said.

"Pisses me off." I crossed my arms.

"I would love to go and hug every single girl out there, but I can't that's why we have lines where they can come up to us and meet us." he said.

"Hate to say it, but Magcon was better then this." I walked over to the front. I peaked behind the curtain and looked at all the girls who are ready to see these guys.

"Serena," I turned and smiled at Hayes, "we have to go out there in a couple minutes."

"I'll stay here. I'm not feeling it." I shook my head. He gave me a soft smile and walked out. I sat on the couch and messed with my cardigan while I waited.

"There is food here if you want to eat." Chad said walking in.

"Yeah I'll get some later." I nodded my head.

"Also you can be with Nash or Hayes during the individual meet ups." he said, "I understand your hatred for Carter and new found hatred to Cam," he laughed.

"Right, umm yeah I'll be with Nash." I said.

"Nash huh?" he came and sat next to me.

"I'll call him Hamiltoe to his face." I laughed, "I really do prefer Hamilton" I said.

"So do I, but the kid wants what he wants." Chad laughed, "I'll see you around kid I need to go look and see how much merchandise we hold right now." I nodded my head and he walked out.

I sat alone in silence for a little. Just staring off into space and thinking.

"Serena," I looked up seeing Matthew.

"What are you doing here?" I asked standing up.

"Chad called me," he said, "you? I thought you had class." he said.

"I do, did, but cancelled." I replied, "all of the boys are out there." I pointed behind me.

"I know I usually come to these things at times."

"Cool," sadly the conversation is over. I just stared up at him. His style has changed a lot and he doesn't spike up his hair. He licked his lips as we both just looked at one another.

Now I know the feeling of loosing something so important to you. I let something or someone who loved me leave me life. Then I threw it away by going out with someone who I don't even love. Just because I'm scared of getting hurt or worse. Losing what we did have. I'm just good at ruining a lot of things.

Pathetic I know.

"How are you doing with Kian?" Matt asked. I got snapped out of my thoughts. Awkward he would ask something like this, but maybe he just cares.

"Oh we're good." I smiled.

"You look beautiful by the way." he flashed me a smile.

"Yeah you too," I agreed, "well nice. I guess. Nice? I don't know that sounds rude. I don't want to say hot because that is rude to say. Even though I'm clearly thinking it, but at the same time you're not dressed up to be called handsome." I rambled on, he made me nervous and that makes me a little upset.

"Did you just call me hot?" he chuckled.

"Sorry," I quickly turned on my heel to walk away.

"Serena stop," he grabbed my arm, "I don't care." he laughed. He looks so happy. I wonder if he's met anyone. I bet he's over me. I hate myself.

"Have you met someone?" I asked him. He stood there for a second just looking at me.

"No, I haven't." he answered. He let go of my arm, "you know what? I just realized I have to do something." he said and walked off quickly.

..

I sat on my bed and sighed. I pulled out my phone and checked the unread messages Kian sent me this morning.

Morning gorgeous.

The second one read.

Party is tonight so be at my place by six :)

It hurts me so much to see the small change in Kian. Ever since o2l ended he's been acting diffrent. I know the KianandJc project might help some, but he's so stressed all the time.

I looked at the time and it's already five, but I could just get ready there. I walked out my room and ran into Jenn.

"You going to Kian and Jc's party?" I asked.

"Probably not." she laughed, "you have fun though." I nooded my head but ran into Andrea.

"You going?" I asked her. She just shrugged.

"Cameron and I where going to watch movies, but we could stop by." she smiled.

"You don't have to." I said.

"You know I don't care that you're dating Kian." she said, "we broke up long ago." she chuckled.

"Okay." I didn't know how else to respond so I quickly walked out.