back and forth (damien haas)

~𝕥𝕣𝕪 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙~

(Authors note- This episode of try not to laugh is MADE UP i didn't base this on any episode of it, I made up my own, there might be copy jokes but that's all)
I stand behind Keith and Noah as we begin recording. "Hello everyone! Welcome to try not to laugh!" Shayne says. "Wait, wait, I wanna do it!" Courtney cuts him off. "Today for try not to laugh we have Sam!" Courtney exclaims. Noah and Keith move to reveal me. I laugh and wave. They explain the instructions regularly and Olivia gos first. I decide to head out first. I hold a baby doll and a blonde wig. In my best valley girl accent I say,
"Omg, like it's so hard being a mommy, like you have to feed it and everything, ugh like can't I just leave it there?" I pause for a second then launch the baby behind me. Olivia spits and I break character and start laughing. I go back behind and think of my next joke.
Olivia picks Shaynes as her favorite so Shayne is up next. I screen record shayne saying your my favorite pizza place. I find a captains hat that kind of looks like the krusty krab hat. I go out last and take the red phone out.
"Hey, pizza hut?" Shayne says from my phone.
"NO THIS IS PATRICK!" I yell into the phone and hang up. Shayne spits and looks so confused. Everyone comes out.
"Sam, that was good, do you wanna go next?" Shayne says. I nod and get my own water. Olivia comes out first looking crazy.
"I'm from space, will you be my girlfriend?" Shake hands me a rose, I nod my head.
"Flipity boop." she says and turns around. I spit all over myself.
"Oops!" I throw the rose back over and Noah comes out next dressed up like a girl.
"Hehe, I think bobby likes you!" Noah points to Shayne looking derpy. I almost spit but hold it in. Shayne looks at me and does a small wave. I hold it in once again and the 30 seconds go up. I swallow and shake my head. Keith comes out on his knees.
"I ain't gonna listen to nothing you say babysitter! You can't make me go to bed ever. Imma stay up all night, bitch!" Keith(bobby) yells at me and I spit out of pure shock.
Courtney comes out with her phone, looking annoyed. "Oh, just listen, listen" Courtney says then pressing play. "I'm glad that you moved in with me, Sam but, you keep on clogging the toilet and i'm not sure how you do it so often, like yesterday I counted 72 times" Courtney's phone said then I spit. "It was actually 73!" I say as she leaves.
Shayne comes out with the red phone and picks it up.
"Hello, is this the krusty krab?" Shayne looks the confused and pulls the phone away from his ear and whispers "It's patrick" I spit immediately, and walk forward. "Come on!" I wipe the water from my mouth and sit back down. They all come out behind me so, I have to pick my favorite. "Keith, you got me the most, you wanna go?" I say.
I go behind to record something on my phone, so I wait so I can go last.
I finally head out and say, "Hey, Keith, I know we haven't gotten to know each other very well yet, but I just wanted to let you know that" I play my phone, "My mommy can sue you,". Keith spits immediately and looks confused at me, "WHAT?" he says. I give him a wink and walk away.
Courtney ends up, up and I come out first immediately knowing what I wanna do. I come out with one flower in my hair and one in my hand. "Uh, huh, um, pickles, am I left," I say shaky and nervous and Courtney spits. "That's not fair!" Courtney points at me. "Inside jokes!".
After everyone comes out for the intro Shayne asks, "What was your joke about, Sam?". I shake my head and laugh. "Well about 4 years ago me and Courtney went to a comedy thing where people went up from the audience and told jokes. This one woman though had a bunch of flowers, and was sweating like crazy when she went up. So, in my nature I made fun of her by saying, 'Uh huh um pickles, am I left?' " I say.
"Yeah this girl was having a rough time and Sam was roasting the hell out of her," Courtney adds. They do the outro and end the episode.

(MAR 21 2020)