The Game of Love

Chapter Twenty

When realization hits you there is no going back; all you are allowed to feel shock. That’s how I feel right now, shock. Kameron carried me out the room and placed me on the floor in the waiting room. I sat in a corner too frozen to move or to even think about the world moving around me. I heard Kameron calling Dee and then I looked up and saw them carrying my grandma out the room with a white covering over her. The whole time I was holding my breath waiting for her to come back to life. I needed her to come back to life so that I could continue to live myself. I needed to wake from this nightmare disguising itself as my reality. My heart was hurting from the pain I was feeling, but no matter how great the pain I could not find tears to match it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to crawl into a box and never come out. My world was crashing faster than I could comprehend and all I wanted was my grandmother.

My body felt cold as if I was the one who died in the room and if I think about it I did. My grandmother was my life, she was the only one keeping me from jumping off the cliff into a peaceful sleep and now she was gone.

Soon Kameron came and sat beside me on the floor. “Sorry it took so long, I couldn’t get in touch with Dee,” he said bringing me close to his body. Usually I would feel warm when even near him but this time was different. This time all I felt was coldness and loneliness; I could not even tell if happiness lived in my body anymore. We sat on the floor in total silence until Dee arrived with of course Kelsey. Her hair was messy and she looked tired so I already knew what they were doing. I couldn’t even muster up the anger to be mad at her so I just kept my head down. Dee didn’t seem to know why he had been called to the hospital because he was too happy. “Wat’s up man, why you call me here,” he asked he dapped Kameron. I could tell Kameron didn’t know how to tell him because he looked at me as if it was my choice. I guess he stood there too long because Dee soon got agitated and demanded answers. “Is this some more bull with her cause I swear if you interrupted what we were doing for ha imma be pissed.” Again Kameron looked at me and sighed. “Grandma gone man,” Kameron said barely above a whisper. What happened next took me completely by surprise. Dee dropped down to the floor and immediately started to cry. I had never seen Dee cry besides when his other grandma on his dad side died. I know this had to hurt since it seemed like anyone my brother got close died, which is probably why he tried his hardest to keep me at a distance. In one rapid minute my brother changed from the cold hearted ass to troubled child. When Kelsey tried to console him, he pushed her away and said some few words which made her leave upset. He was breathing uncontrollable while tears streamed down his cheeks like a river. His eyes turned red and he skin went pale as they lost color due to his pain and despair. I couldn’t understand how he could easily come by this reaction while I was sitting here just watching the world as it went by. I wanted that reaction, but I just couldn’t find it. As I sat there looking at my brother fall into pieces I started to finally see why I kept a connection with him and why I continuously stood up for him no matter what he did or said. If I was to leave him he would fall apart and would be lost forever. I slowly crawled over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He tried to fight but soon gave in. He fell into my lap holding on to my waist for dear life; I gently rubbed his head like I used to do when we were little. I couldn’t blame him for his actions because I knew it was the only way he would not breakdown. When I looked up I realized Kameron had left and I got worried. Kameron would never leave me when I was hurting like this even he was an ass sometimes.

After Dee settled down and left to go after Kelsey, I went to find Kameron. I found him in his car staring off into space. He didn’t even notice when I got into the car, he just sat there like a dead corpse only he was breathing. I turned to him as if trying to get him to look my way but he just looking forward. Then out of nowhere a tear strolled down from his left eye. With that one tear I could tell he was also hurting from this sudden death. I got out the car and went over to his side. I opened his door and sat down his lap. I put my arms around him to where his head was settled on my chest. “It’s okay, you can let it go,” was all I said before he grasped my waist tightly and poured his pain out into my shoulder. I had never seen Kameron so emotional, hell I had never seen him cry.