Dear Diary

A glimpse of the Past

Laila: Aliyah's Mother.
Jamal: Aliyah's Father.
Rahma: Lailas bestfriend.

And the story continues

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Aliya slowly opened her eyes as she regained consciousness, the rays of the sun that pierced through her window clearly proved that it was already morning.

She remembered crying on the floor until she passed out, how did she get on the bed?

As soon as the question popped in her head she felt her mother's hand clutched in hers, she fell asleep sitting on a chair by the bedside.

It seems she was awake all night, taking care of her princess like she always does.

She woke up as soon as she sensed Aliyah's hand move, sadness, tiredness and a hint of happiness formed a mixture of complex feelings in her eyes.

"Were you crying all night Mammã?" Aliya asked in a weak voice

"Why wouldn't i cry when i found my princess lifeless on the floor? I can't imagine what will happen to me if i ever lose you someday." Her mother replied.

"Let me get you something to eat, i have already called Dr. Hannah to come and check up on you"

"Mammã i am fine, i don't feel like eating now. I just need a glass of water"

Her mother handed her a glass of water.

"Thank you Mammã"

"I came in to say goodnight, and i found you on the floor. What worries you my child? I am really angry to find you in a pool of tears."

" I am sorry Mommã, i will be just fine. I'll be forever okay with you as my guardian angel"
Aliyah said as a sweet and innocent smile brightened her gloomy face."

" You surely know how to act innocent" her mother complimented.

"Have some Rest my child"

"Mammã, i have been sleeping all night, i want to hear one your stories"

"Okay, fine" Her mother said without any arguement

She tightened her grip on Aliyah's hand and continued to speak

"Listen, you are the only thing that matters in my life, for you are the only family i have left. I fought against the world to keep you and will do it again and again if i have to. You always ask me of your father and i only told you who he was. But i never really told you the whole story.

Today i will tell you, just so you know who you were from inception to birth. I just want you to learn from it and know that you were born strong.

"My parents were strict but i was a rebellious teenager, i always did what they told me not to"
her mother chukled.

I was only 19 years when i met your father. He was such a handsome man with a charming smile, oh! That devilish smile. He worked at a restaurant near our college and was quite the people's man.

I was such a beauty queen and like all the Queens i was a foodie too.

Everytime i went to their restaurant he will be staring at me, just like a hungry child stares at a plate of food. I believed he had a crush on me.

Oneday he served me food, when i was done eating, i noticed a note he kept for me. It was short and straight to the point.

"Hey, i always wanted to talk to you, but perhaps i never found the courage to do so. I like you and hope that you and i can get to know each other better -Jamal"

I was taken aback by his action, how could this be called an act of cowardice. I mean, he just expressed his feelings to me with ease. That alone won my admiration.

Aliyah, by then i was always carefree as such my mind told me to give him a chance. Even though he was someone i barely knew by then, it felt right to give him a chance.

I took a pen and wrote my number at the back of the card, i handed it over to him when he brought the bill. That was how our story began.

He called me later, we talked so many times over the phone. Everytime i visited their restaurant he was the one to serve me and that was how we grew closer to each other"

"Your love will soon get you fired! Get back to work" his boss often say angrily when he sees us talking.

We had dates, I mean crazy and fun filled dates, cinemas, clubs and parties. Our relationship was sweet and exotic one, even as such i drew a border line we never crossed, |No Sex|.

Somedays we kiss and i will push him away as soon as we begin to loose control. Well, it wasn't just my way of testing him to see wether he was in love in love with me or just lustful of me, but it was also what my mom taught me.

Aliyah gave her mother a quizzical look, it was as if she never knew who her mother was all along. It's as if her mother of the past and the one in front of her were two different people.

"She must be lying, but no. Why would she lie to me?" Aliyah tought to herself.

Nevertheless she obidiently listened to her mother's story for it was also her story too.

"Don't give me that look, who i am today is as a result of my past. I learned from the experience but it was hope that kept me alive through the storms" Her mother answered the unsaid question in Aliyah's head.

Letting go of Aliyah's hand she continued speaking

"After dating for about six months, he was frustrated and began complaining as to my attitude towards sex. He never understood why my virginity mattered so much to me.

" Are you scared of getting pregnant? We can use protection and you won't have to worry about that anymore" He said to me oneday.

"It isn't about that my love, i may be rebellious towards my parents attitude, but the core values they taught me are still imprinted on my mind. My mother taught me not to ever give myself away to anyone except my husband. I get tempted too you know" i replied.

I pulled him closer to me and began to kiss him slowly.
So it was, everytime we had such discussions, my kiss will compensate for his anger.

My bestfriend Rahma always warned me of such acts, she even tried to pull me away from the relationship. But on the lane of love i have travelled too far to turn back.

By the time our relationship was 9 months old, our love grew deeper to the roots of our heart, our souls were connected. Your Father Jamal became the apple of my eyes, my heart beats faster at the sight of his smile. We were so drunk in our love at least so i thought.

He always felt like our love was incomplete without sex and would complain every now and then, however he was smart to do so nicely. With rime I began to feel the same too. but i was too scared to give in to my desire.

She stood from her chair and slowly walked to the window. With her back facing Aliyah' and her own eyes set to the garden outside she continued to tell her story.

Halfway into the tenth month of our relationship, he took me to see the sunset oneday. Up on a hill located at the outskirt of our city he went on his knees the same time with the sun, His words sounded true and my heart had no doubt.

"Lailah i love you and i am willing to be with you all my life, through thin and thick, through happiness and sorrow, through the good and the bad times. Will you Marry me?"

"No, I can't marry you" i said.

"Maã!" Aliyah exclaimed.

"Beep! Beep!" A car horn was heard from outside.

Oh! Its Dr. Hannah
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