Cliché (Miya Atsumu)

14

The next day:

It was quite visible that I didn't get the right amount of sleep last night.
My exasperated, eye-bagged face being the big main evidence. There wasn't a single class today where I didn't take a 10 minute power nap. I was even lucky enough that volleyball practice was conveniently cancelled. If it wasn't, I would've been completely off game, my body would crash and I didn't want to suffer any more than this.

I did however follow (L/N) to her place and was now resting on her couch. I was half-napping, half-awake, as she was tucked in her kotatsu watching some animal documentary on the TV. 'You've gotten very comfortable here', is what she told me earlier, and she's absolutely right.

Her house is always cosy and warm, so of course I'd get comfortable! It's now considered normal for me to round her home, I come here and so became a bit of a routinely habit. Not only is it cosy, but it's also quiet, puts my mind at peace, her whole neighbourhood is practically silent.

"Atsumu-san would you like a blanket?" She asks, pausing the documentary on TV.

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll grab one quick."

I watch her stand up and leave the room to go get me a blanket while I was continued laying side-flat on the couch.

Even though I am supposed to be at 'peace', the  thoughts from last night only gotten worse especially when I'm around her. It became frustratingly difficult to ignore and my gestures showed that as I often got questioned today by her 'Is something on your mind?' Or 'Are you feeling okay?'

I really do like the observant side of her, very admirable. It builds trust and shows that she is looking out for me which is something I can always appreciate.
On the other hand, it can also be nerve wrecking if you're trying to hide certain thoughts or ideas. In this case, the thoughts would be me trying to push away my guilts and past deeds; and the ideas would be my temptations to do them.

I blame it on my adolescence and lack of proper serious relationship experiences. I'm not even sure if what me and (L/N) have right now is even way too serious as it still feels like nothing has changed between us, which leads to my confusion.
The only thing that's really changing is how I perceive her.

I remember thinking that she was simply another girl that simply liked me before we started dating, I never would have considered being attracted to her one bit, she wasn't my idealistic type. (L/N) was always someone that never really stood out in the crowd and someone who never really spoke too much either.
Don't get me wrong, (L/N) wasn't invisible, she has many friends presumably since she's a really nice girl and is respected from classmates. Its just that I only used to see her in class and barely speak to her back then.

When I assumed that she liked me back then, I was ever so slightly put off by her actions because it was unrequited from my side, it would just feel awkward. I realised that she'd try and pick up conversations with me but get shy or start stuttering.
There was one time where I was partnered up with her for a presentation in literature class and she was smiling a lot around me, but got nervous whenever I spoke to her. She wasn't saying anything that could suggest her interest in me, but only showed it by gestures which she probably didn't even notice.

However, I never hated it, more like, I wasn't ever bothered.

(L/N) wasn't a pushy person and gave a good amount of space.
Other girls that have confessed to me before where pushy or clingy before we dated/rejected, to try and grab my attention. (L/N) didn't do that however.

At rare times there are some people in school that I overhear talking about us, 'what an odd combination, Miya-san and (L/N)-san' they would say something on the lines of that, not in a unfriendly manner though (probably just out of spite surprise). I was also never bothered by this either, (L/N) was also most likely the same.