『 𝙗𝙣𝙝𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙨 』

xvi | finding you self harming (!!!)

[before we begin i'd like to remind you that this chapter contains content that some readers may find disturbing, triggering or offensive. please do not read if you are easily off-put by topics of depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts/tendencies!]
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{crisis textlines}
• UK text 85258
• US text 741741
• CA text 686868
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{suicide hotline}
1(800)273-8255
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Bakugo Katsuki
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'You're not good enough' 'Falling behind' 'You're not important' Every word was a new cut, another drop of blood falling between your fingers into the sink with the running water. Nobody could hear you, you were biting your lip until it bled, bitter iron flooding your mouth and the sink, staining. But it had been too long. Katsuki had snuck in for a surprise movie night but couldn't find you. Until he heard the water running. Maybe they were brushing their teeth. When he walked in, the scene horrified him. In less than a second he'd slapped the blade from you hands and began rustling through your cabinets. He knew you had bandages. Katsuki couldn't scream at you though, not when you were stood beside him mortified that he'd caught you. His eyes stung with tears but he held them back, he wanted to be strong for you right now. Quickly sterilizing your cuts and wrapping by them up tight, he brought you into his arms and sunk down on the bathroom floor with you. Your sobs finally came rushing out of your throat. Apologies, promises, explanations. You were quickly hushed, "I won't ask why, but I hope you'll have it in you to promise that before you even consider picking up that fucking blade, that you'll call me, text me, talk to me and just let me help you..."

Midoriya Izuku
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You hadn't experienced a depressive relapse since before you met Izuku. But now, school and villain attacks began to weigh in on you. From your nightstand you took out a blade and began to carve into yourself. 'Feel something' 'Live' 'Forget' You told yourself anything that could force you to comprehend the situation but nothing made sense. All that you heard and felt was empty, wanting to feel something other than nothing. Salty, bitter and angry tears rolled down your flushed cheeks. "React goddamnit..." you seethed. Just then, your door opened and before you could hide the evidence, Izuku ran into your bathroom and came back with the first aid kit. You felt his tears hitting your skin and your heart broke. "Why didn't you talk to me? I could've helped you! I should've been paying more attention to you I-" "It wasn't you! I didn't want you to know or worry." He finished bandaging you up and pulled you into him, his shaky, uncertain hands threading into your hair slowly. Feeling your breaths slow to a more steady rhythm. "If you want to feel something then I'll do anything to make sure that my love is all you ever feel.."

Todoroki Shoto
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"You can't keep up" "Give up" "Die" There was no way he could love you. The pro hero's son and you, nobody. He'd be better off without you. You were useless, weak. Every single insult punctuated with a wound. You hated feeling like this, hated making excuses for not wearing shorts in the summertime, for not wearing short sleeves. Your mind flashed white, every horrible thing you'd said to yourself blinding. Your breathing stopped, choked and weak. Your heart beat fast, hammering as a burst of air flooded your lungs only for it to start over again. The blade slipped from your hands and dropped to the floor. Footsteps in the hallway stopped and sped into your room, alarmed by the sound of exasperation. A cold hand met your forehead and a warm one holding your lightly bloodied hands. "Relax, look at five things and name them in your head." 'textbook.. chair.. windows.. closet.. curtains' The flashing died down. "Listen for four different noises" 'the rain.. my heartbeat.. the wind.. the tv downstairs..' The flashing was gone. You could see. "Touch three things" his hands were shaking, you grabbed one of them and squeezed. 'Shoto's hand.. his hair.. the cold floor..' His tears fell onto your shirt, his eyes blinked fast, flushing away anymore tears. "Smell two things.." his voice came in a whisper as his hand came to grab a towel and cover your bleeding wounds. 'his cologne, light and soft.. some type of pastry cooking downstairs..' "Now open your mouth love.." You did as instructed and the familiar sweet taste of lemonade you had in a bottle on your nightstand hit your tongue. "Just relax and breathe here in my arms. Don't think about anything, just look at me and match my heartbeat." he took your hand and set it on his chest. Your eyes closed and you just breathed, the feeling of being picked up and set down on a soft surface. But you didn't think. You let it happen. Secured bandages wrapped around your wounds, his warmth right to your left.