♡Fuck You, Too♡ || Bakugou x Reader [DISCONTINUED]

Ch. 22: The Reason

• { Chapter 22 } •
________________

|| T h e  R e a s o n ||

❗WARNING❗
Contains Depression, Drug Usage, Suicidal Thoughts/Mental Abuse

《1st POV》

My eyes shot wide open as the blaring alarm nearly gave me a heart attack. I could feel my heartbeat pounding against my eardrums.

I hadn't moved a muscle except for an arm which swung over to hit the alarm clock off. I had nearly knocked it off my nightstand as I weakly retrieved my arm back under the covers.

Today, I woke up depressed and frustrated. Had I even truly slept?

I didn't hesitate to decide on skipping school today. I'd rather wallow under the covers until I feel better. Until I find the reason why I feel like this out of the blue:

Suddenly I forgot my will to live.

I've gotten weak again it's obvious. It must've been last night when I took antidepressants right before knocking out, because I was afraid I was going to run out of my prescription.

Well, it's finished now anyway. My personal medication didn't seem to balance it out, and I felt sick to the core. Just plain awful. As much as I want to go get a refill, I feel too disgusting to get up.

I try to have a clear mind--and it's definitely clear, because I can't think of anything else but "why?"

I can't remember anything right now, even the events from yesterday or why I took antidepressants. However my mind is so clear that only the memory of my incident continued to linger.

Why was I here...existing? Why really didn't I just die? I have no family, and Todoroki was fine without talking to me in the first place. Nothing to live for...

Why was I trying to fight the scars from the past? I remember the feeling of undergoing stress as if I was working really hard for something. I feel like I was fighting for two things. What was I trying to prove again?

I groan as a sharp pain crossed my forehead, and a strange chill swept through my body. "Shit..." I cursed as I pulled over the covers.

My clothes felt cold, damp, and wrinkled. Why are my clothes half wet? Did I try to drown myself in the bathtub again? Why can't I remember...

A vibration from my phone--probably text messages and calls from Todo--reminded me the desire to call him, but we're not exactly on good terms ever since I hung out with Bakugou. Plus, he's in class right now.

I quickly silenced the notifications, so I wouldn't have to move ever again. My quirk is ice, yet I feel so cold and weak. Actually, I'm quite dripping with sweat, I think I have a fever.

Nah, nevermind that, it'll lower any time soon anyway I think. Opening a palm, I create a cooling system similar to a freezer's in my small little tent under the covers.

In other words, I let cool steam pump from my palm. I know I should get up and eat something, but I'm too sunk into the softness of my mattress.

I increase my ice quirk as my face feels like it's boiling. I could feel the unsteadiness in my breathing as I cursed to myself. Can't I just fall back asleep? I'm so tired...

After a while, I gave up, admitting I won't be able to stand on my own. I finally reached out to my phone. The calls and texts were from Todoroki about my whereabouts. I finally ring Todoroki, but the ringing goes on forever.