Vent hole

I hate it

I hate a lot of things... Just like anyone else. But do you know what I hate the most? It's not coming back to memories and reminiscing them. It's what I feel for doing that.

It could've been easy if only...the feelings didn't come along with it.

I've past through tragedies like getting into an accident and miraculously come back to life. But I never thought I'd get hung up on something like feelings and memories. These things keep me intact for what I have been through. I carry lessons from the past. And the past will always be a part of me.

I hate it.

It's been a busy year and I admit I haven't been the strongest when it comes to resisting. But I've read and reminisced what I did back then. And trust me, I suck. I thought I was lame. I thought I was stupid, fucked up and a confused shit going around and about the whole world. I remembered who I was back then.

A stupid shit.

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything and I don't hate anything that's in my past. What I'm talking about now is what I feel in the present because of the past. Its quite confusing, but y'all get it.

As I was saying, even though I've been through accidents and surgeries and stuff like that...nothing compared to being traumatized (lol) by someone for at least 4 years and counting. I mean, wth am I doing in this life? Analyzing things back then? Learning people's thoughts that was supposed to be 3 or 4 years ago that doesn't even makes sense here in the present? That's stupid. That's idiocy for myself. and the feelings it brought was...sadness.

I was sure if I was this shit now to that day, I would have done things differently. But, as I've said, I don't regret anything. I've forgotten things but they are embedded in my brain for some reason, not leaving me alone...maybe for a hundred years and so on.

Welp, that's all I gotta say. Nothing in particular but you guys get what I'm trying to say.

It's shit 🤣