Metanoia | Chris Evans

2.8

To: Sunshine ☀️

Sunshine ☀️:
Happy Valentine's Day, Charlie! 🤗
It sucks that you have work today, but I hope you have a good day
[SENT: 8:38 AM]
[READ: 11:53 AM]

Shortie 🎖:
Thanks, Chris 🙂

Sunshine ☀️:
Hey, are you okay?
You usually answer straight away...

Shortie 🎖:
I'm fine, just been busy
I have to get back to work.
Sorry 🙂

Sunshine ☀️:
Oh, okay
I'll call you later then?

Shortie 🎖:
Sure. 🙂
[SENT: 11:58 AM]
[READ: 11:59 AM]

Sunshine ☀️:
Are you ready to talk yet?
[SENT: 6:27 PM]
[READ: 6:28 PM]

Can you at least tell me what I did to upset you?
[SENT: 6:30 PM]
[READ: 6:33 PM]

I'm sorry, that was rude. But, I am getting pretty worried about you here so please could you at least text me back?
[SENT: 6:35 PM]
[READ: 6:40 PM]

Charlie, I can see you reading these.
[SENT: 6:41 PM]
[READ: 6:47 PM]

If you won't answer, then I'll just come to your house and start doing this in person
One message back - that's all I'm asking for
[SENT: 6:48 PM]
[READ: 6:50 PM]

Shortie 🎖:
Does Valentine's Day ever make you realise how tragically alone you are?
Everyone around you is flaunting and celebrating their love, and all you can do is watch from the sidelines, wondering when it'll be your turn.

Sunshine ☀️:
You've been blowing me off all day because you're single on Valentine's Day?
Is it really that big of a deal??

Shortie 🎖:
No, not really, but this stupid day just brings up all these insecurities in me that I try so hard to ignore

Sunshine ☀️:
Like you not believing that anyone should have to "put up" with you because of something out of your control?

Shortie 🎖:
Where did you hear that??

Sunshine ☀️:
That's what you said, isn't it?
That you're a mess on a good day and you don't think it's fair to subject someone to that?
[READ: 7:02]

That's what you said to my mom when she asked if you had a boyfriend just before Christmas.
It's what you truly believe.

Shortie 🎖:
What makes you think that?
I was just trying to get her off the subject, you're just looking at it out of context

Sunshine ☀️:
Damn it, Charlotte Angel Hayes, I have known you for way too long to have not picked up when you're lying. You weren't lying to her when you said those things about yourself, you believed what you were saying was the truth.
It's been fucking killing me inside to know that you think about yourself like that

Shortie 🎖:
Please, Chris, I don't want to talk about this
Not right now

Sunshine ☀️:
Well, I do, because I've been holding this in since I heard it and I can't pretend anymore
You're beautiful, and talented in so many ways, and compassionate, and so many other things. All those negative things you think about yourself are all wrong, and it fucking hurts to think that you've thought these things all this time and I've just never seen it.
There IS someone out there who's going to love you for all the things you overlook or think negatively about, and the fact that you get nightmares and have PTSD is just going to be a part of you that they accept wholeheartedly - supporting you in every way they can so the world doesn't feel so scary for you anymore.

Shortie 🎖:
Chris!
Please don't
I really don't want to think about any of this
I'm fine
I'm going to go to bed and start tomorrow fresh, and we're never going to revisit this conversation.
Ever.

Sunshine ☀️:
Charlie...
Fine, whatever, I'll stop forcing the topic.
Just please at least let me say one last thing

Shortie 🎖:
What more could there possibly be to say?

Sunshine ☀️:
One day, someone is going to love you, heart and soul - and no matter what you think about yourself, they'd do anything within their power for you. When you cross paths, I'm begging you not to push them away because you're scared.

Shortie 🎖:
Sure there is - if this mythical person ever turns up then I won't send them packing.
Does that suffice?

Sunshine ☀️:
Thank you
[SENT: 7:19 PM]
[READ: 7:24 PM]