Il suo zaffiro

chapter 25

LOGAN POV

I headed upstairs, my mind a tangled mess of thoughts about Sapphire. Seeing her at the mall had reopened wounds I'd been trying to ignore. Every step felt heavier as I reached my room and shut the door behind me. The silence in the house was suffocating, and my emotions were all over the place—frustration, regret, anger, guilt.

I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. The image of Sapphire laughing with Adonis played over and over in my head. I had no right to be angry, but I was. She looked happy with him. Happier than she ever was with me.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand. For a second, I hoped it was her, but when I glanced at the screen, it was Christy. I sighed, not wanting to deal with it, and let it go to voicemail.

"Get it together, Logan," I muttered, running a hand through my hair again. I had to accept that I wasn't the man Sapphire needed, no matter how much it stung. I had pushed her away, not just with my jealousy, but with the way I treated her—like she was a possession instead of a person. I'd been too consumed by my anger, too obsessed with control.

The knock on my door snapped me out of my thoughts. "Logan? Dinner's ready," Sara's voice came through the door.

I took a deep breath before responding. "I'll be down in a minute."

I didn't feel like eating, but Sara had been there for me through everything. She was one of the few people who didn't sugarcoat things, and she was right earlier—I needed to change. But how? I had messed up so many times, and I didn't even know where to start.

When I finally dragged myself downstairs, the smell of food filled the air, and I saw Sara setting the table. She looked up, giving me that motherly smile she always had when I was about to spiral.

"Come on, sit. You need to eat something." She motioned toward the plate she had set for me.

I sat down, pushing the food around with my fork more than actually eating. "Do you think I can really change?" I asked, breaking the silence.

Sara didn't answer right away, but when she did, her voice was gentle. "I think anyone can change if they really want to. But it's not easy. It takes time, effort, and a lot of facing things you don't want to admit to yourself."

I nodded, staring down at my plate. "I've been a mess, Sara. Everything with Sapphire, Adonis... even Christy." Her name felt foreign on my tongue, almost like she didn't belong in my life at all.

"You're not a lost cause, Logan," Sara said softly. "But you have to want to be better for yourself, not just for someone else."

I exhaled slowly, knowing she was right. It was just so much easier to fall back into old habits, to let the anger and jealousy consume me instead of facing the pain of what I had lost.

The rest of dinner was quiet, and after I helped Sara clean up, I went back to my room. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Sapphire—her smile, her laugh, the way she used to look at me before everything went to hell.

Maybe it wasn't too late to fix things with myself. Maybe if I could figure out how to change, I could find some peace. Even if it meant letting Sapphire go for good.

But deep down, I wasn't sure if I could.

~~~~
The next day, the heaviness from the conversation with Sara still lingered. I could hear my own words from the day before echoing in my head as I walked around the house, trying to distract myself. But it didn't work. My thoughts always circled back to Sapphire.

Mid-morning, I heard a knock on the door, followed by Christy's voice. "Logan, open up!" she demanded, her tone already making my patience wear thin. I didn't move from my spot, hoping she'd go away, but the door swung open anyway. She stormed inside, her eyes blazing with fury.

"Why haven't you been answering my calls and texts?" she asked, crossing the room in just a few strides, her voice sharp.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't have to answer your questions, Christy. I broke up with you. Now leave before I get angry and call the guards." My tone was as cold as I could manage, hoping she'd take the hint and leave.

Instead, she huffed, crossing her arms. "You're being a jerk, Logan. I don't see how you can just break up with me like that!" Her voice rose, filled with frustration, but I barely blinked.

I yawned, letting her words roll off me. "Are you done?"

She glared, clearly frustrated by my indifference. "Were you using me?" she asked after a pause, her voice lower now.

I shrugged, not particularly caring how she took it. "Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. Plus, you were starting to get rude, acting like you owned me." I folded my arms and leaned back in my chair, watching her reaction.

"Whatever," she snapped. "So, where's Sapphire?"

The mention of Sapphire's name made me stiffen, but I kept my face neutral. "She doesn't live here anymore. Now, can you leave?" My voice turned icy as I tried to keep control over the anger rising inside me.

Christy didn't back down, though. "That's why she left—you're so arrogant and only think about yourself!" she spat.

That hit a nerve. My fist slammed onto the desk with a loud thud, making her jump. "Don't you see I'm trying to change?" I shouted, my voice booming in the room. "I'm not perfect. I can't please everybody!" I was breathing hard, trying to rein in my temper. "I'm leaving her alone. I don't want to think about her anymore. She's fine where she's at, and she doesn't need me," I added, my voice softening. "I'm starting over, so please... just leave me alone."

Christy's eyes widened at my outburst, and for a moment, I thought she'd say something else. But instead, she turned around and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Once she was gone, I banged my head lightly against the desk, the guilt settling in even deeper. "Why would you choose Adonis over me?" I muttered to myself. My fists clenched at the thought, but I shook it off.

You shouldn't care who she's with, Logan. Leave her alone. She's fine.

I stood up, pacing the room. "I want need to let her know how sorry I am for treating her so badly," I mumbled, feeling torn between staying away and wanting to make things right.

Forget her. Move on. There are other women.

But no matter how much I tried to convince myself, I couldn't let it go. My feet led me out of the office and down the hallway as if on autopilot.

"I should apologize to her," I muttered, walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. I opened the pantry and pulled out her favorite chocolate, setting it on the counter.

Sara appeared out of nowhere, her eyes narrowing at me. "What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to apologize to Sapphire," I said, my voice steady but filled with a strange mix of hope and dread.

Sara tensed, clearly taken aback, but she quickly composed herself. I could tell from the way she looked at me that she didn't want me to. "Can I have a piece of your pie?" I asked, trying to change the subject, if only for a moment.

"Help yourself," she said cautiously, pulling the pie from the fridge.

"But I thought you said you were going to leave her alone," she reminded me, her voice soft but firm.

"I will," I assured her, cutting a slice of pie. "I'm just going to tell her I'm sorry, then I'll leave her alone."

Sara didn't look convinced. "Please, Logan, don't go. She'll be frightened."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Don't worry, Sara. I won't hurt her. I just want to apologize," I said, my voice quieter now. I could feel the weight of my own words, knowing deep down that this apology might be the last thing I ever say to her.

Sara gave me a long, searching look before finally relenting. "Fine. Here, take the whole pie," she said, handing it over.

I nodded, grabbed the pie, and left the kitchen. Whatever happened next, I was determined to make things right—even if it was the last thing I did.

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