isn't she beautiful?

32 - i'm sorry

the play was tonight, i don't think i've ever been this nervous in my life.

"okay, and cue smoke." cameron said. the smoke shot up in the air, causing a cool effect, "wow, it looks better than i thought." hailey giggled.

"yeah, i think people are really gonna like this." cameron chuckled.

everything went well with zoe and mr. simpson, he said he wasn't going to cancel the play. but he did make a few more adjustments to make the play more "school appropriate." i couldn't complain though, it was better than no play at all.

i felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, i sighed when i saw it was a text from jimin, he's coming to the play.

"what? are you allergic to compliments or something?" cameron laughed.

"i just got a text, it's from jimin. he's coming to the play."

cameron shrugged, "isn't that great news?"

"i'm just worried that if he sees it, he's gonna figure out-"

"you and danica are hooking up?" hailey said. i sighed and looked down at my shoes, there's really no use in trying to deny it anymore.

"i knew it!" hailey jumped up from her seat, she pointed to cameron, "you owe me a 20 and you're a piece of shit for cheating."

"no, look, it was just one time and it was when jimin was in a coma. i didn't think we were getting him back. it didn't mean anything...be honest, if he sees this thing is he gonna know what happened?"

"hey man, we directed the thing and we still weren't sure so..." cameron chuckled.

"well, i can't have him finding out in a room full of people." i sighed.

---

i walked into school with my head held a little higher today. i felt like a new person. all of my troubles were behind me and i could just go on with my life now.

i went to the auditorium for the play, it was tonight and the butterflies wouldn't leave me stomach. i walked into the dressing room, i wanted to see what i would be wearing. i opened the curtain to where the costumes were. but when i opened the curtain, seokjin was standing there, shirtless.

i felt my body tense up, "o-oh! i'm sorry! i'm sorry..." i closed the curtain so i didn't have to see him anymore.

i heard him chuckle, "actually, can you come in here for a second?"

i opened the curtains a little, enough for my head to fit through, "b-but you don't have a..."

"it's not the first time we've seen each other like this." he chuckled.

i scrunched up my nose and laughed, "right."

i scratched the back of my head as i entered the room, he put his shirt back on and he faced me, "um, so jimin is coming to the play, and he...he can't find out about us."

"i know, i told you i wouldn't say anything."

"i know, i know. but i just need to change a few lines. it's not that many, here." he handed me the script. i flipped through the pages to see the things he fixed.

he sighed, "i'm sorry about how this all went down for...the timing and everything...and i'm sorry i wasn't there for the...you know-"

"it's okay. i'm okay." i shook my head.

"no, still, i should've been there. for you." he frowned.

i rubbed my lips, looking back down at the script in my hands. "why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

i shrugged, "i wasn't planning on telling anyone...and i did try to tell you..when i asked you for the ride downtown..."

he licked the inside of his cheek, realizing now that he messed up. "i should've known. you could've made more of an effort to tell me..."

i scoffed, "i couldn't made more of an effort? are you kidding me? i had to make the most difficult decision of my life and you're telling me i should've made more of an effort to tell you?"

"okay, okay i'm sorry it's just...this is new to me. this hasn't happened before. i should've been there for you, i should've known. i mean, it was my baby too..." he sighed.

"i didn't tell you because you were already so worried about jimin. i didn't need you worrying about this at the same time..."

"still...i would've wanted to know..."

i furrowed my eyebrows, "can i ask you something?"

---

"can i ask you something?"

i nodded my head, "of course."

"did i mean anything to you? like at all?" she asked. her doe like eyes stared at me innocently, waiting for my response.

"of course you did, you were my hope." i smiled.

and i didn't lie.

danica meant everything to me. it hurt me that i had to hurt her.

she smiled sweetly at me. i grabbed her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug. her small arms wrapped themselves around my body. i held onto her tightly.

i don't think i could ever forgive myself for letting her deal with all of this alone.

•••

awww my heart omfg
[sorry for any grammatical errors]