Scars and Stuffies | J.JKxBTS AU

스물넷

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Stuffin' up your mouth like t-t-tissue

The way you look is not an issue

~Orange Juice

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~Trigger Warning: Anorexia, Alcohol and Depression~

~April 11th~

~Yoongi's POV~

The moment I looked at the calendar one word was on my mind, and that was Jeongguk, Jeongguk, Jeongguk on repeat like a broken record Well you are broken. "Yoon, you awake?" Seokjin-hyung asked, knocking on the door "Mhm." I said plainly, not standing up to open the door "I was wondering if you wanted to come to eat some dinner with us, the others miss you and I want to see you eat." he said, making me sigh "Why? I'm fine." I protested, crossing my arms "Just do it Yoongi. It's been a year, at least eat lunch with us in memory of him." he replied, making me frown and bite my bottom lip harshly in thought.

He's acting as if Jeongguk is dead? he's as good as dead But I heard him, he's okay No he's not, you know that. Just forget about him, he's never coming back to the group ..you're right. "Alright fine, I'm gonna come to eat Seokjin-hyung." I said as I stood up, walking over to the door and pulling it open to see him "Okay, I made some kimchi for us." he said, nodding with a small smile as he walked into the kitchen. I followed behind him with a permanent frown on my face and I sat down next to Namjoon and Jimin, looking down at the table.

"Oh, look what the cat dragged in" Taehyung teased, chuckling with Jimin "God, could you look any more depressed Hyung?" Jimin joked, laughing behind his hand as he looked at me "Shut up." I mumbled, making him smile teasingly "You may be able to boss kook about cause you're his daddy, but you can't boss me about." Jimin protested with a smirk,

"Just shut up!!" I yelled, making him flinch and I dropped my head into my hands, taking deep breaths to calm down "J-Just shut up, I'm not in the mood for jokes." I mumbled, blinking away the feeling of tears as I thought back to the threats that Jeongguk's kidnapper had made towards us if we tried to find him.

"Okay, that's enough Jimin." Namjoon said as I let out a sigh, pulling my hands away as Seokjin-hyung placed my food down "Fine." he mumbled, staring at the food blankly. I watched him for a moment before I took a small bite of food as Seokjin sat down "We've got to go work on our vocals tomorrow, so get some good sleep tonight." Namjoon said as he ate, making us all nod.

"Oh, and I'm going to be leading in dance the day after, so you don't have to worry about Him." Hoseok added, making us all let out silent sighs of relief Even if Hoseok was hard on us, he was better than Yeonseok in a million ways. We all ate in silence for a few minutes, except Jimin who was just playing with his food for some reason.

"Okay, I'm fed up of pretending." Hoseok said, suddenly looking at me "Why are you acting so cold Hyung? I know you aren't exactly a ball of fluff but you've changed, why?" he asked, making me sigh and sit in silence for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts "We've all changed hope, You know that. None of us will really be the same, but if you want an answer I'll give it to you." I said slowly, glancing to Seokjin who was watching me with a worried expression, almost saying 'Are you sure?' to which I nodded.

"You remember in our debut days? The idea of we might not make it?" I asked, to which they all nodded slowly "I'm thinking like that again. No, not we won't make it. That he won't come back. The idea has turned me into basically not even human, you get what I'm saying?" I asked, to which Seokjin nodded, but the others looked confused. I let out an annoyed sigh and I brushed my hair back, before taking a deep breath "My depression's back." I said plainly, before standing up and walking over to the door "Thank you for dinner, I'm done." I said, moving to leave before my phone dinged, along with everyone else's.