Moon and Flowers

Chapter Seven

The next day, I woke up later than usual. Hindi ako makatulog kakaisip kay Spade. His words last night echoed in my head and now, I don't know how to face him anymore. I spent the sleepless night rehearsing what I will say to him. And if he doesn't want to hear me speak, maybe I'll just cook a better lunch for him. Ngayon pa lang, natatakot na akong lumabas at harapin siya.

Paglabas ko, Spade is nowhere to be found. Maybe he's upstairs doing workouts with his own gym equipment or maybe he's running errands outside. I couldn't hear if he was upstairs so maybe he's out. That's what usually happens on a weekend. So when it's Saturday, I'm preparing straight to brunch. He'll always come back before lunch. 

I moved to the kitchen and wrapped my moon apron around me. I scanned my moon notebook for the meal I have planned for today and took out all the ingredients. 

After cooking, I settled on the sofa and faced my moon notebook. I put a scribbled check on another box which is the dinner with Nick. Napangiwi ako nang makita ko yung sumunod. Go on a field trip. Hell. I can't go to these places alone. But these are the places you can often see on school trips. I'm not advised to join a single one of those so I never experienced going to any of these. Maybe there are actually things on this list that I won't be able to complete. Especially the following ones, now that Spade's mad at me. It's not easy to get the chance to even talk to him properly.

I gave up and went back to the kitchen. Napatingin ako sa wall clock. Spade's supposed to be back now. It's almost lunch and he's not here yet. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano ako haharap sa kanya. I memorized what I'm gonna say to him since last night. I'll just explain to him and shut up if he doesn't say anything. 

I messaged him that lunch is ready. Nanlalamig pa ang kamay ko habang nagtitipa. I waited a few minutes more but there's no sign of him replying or coming downstairs or walking inside the unit. Nakaligo na ako, wala pa rin. So, even with trembling hands, I called him. It took him a while before he answered and when he finally did, the courage in my heart completely left me. But he remained silent. 

"S-Spade, where are you? I prepared your lunch already." I bit my lip to prepare for his response.

"I'm in my room," he said huskily. 

Wait. Has he gone outside or has he been in there all along? He's neither upstairs nor outside.

"The food is ready," I told him again. 

"Bring it to my room."

"H-Ha?" 

I waited for his answer but there is none until he just ended the call. Kinakabahan ako. I went to the dining table and followed as he said, though clueless. I have no idea why he's suddenly letting me in his room when he clearly never wanted me to even have a glimpse of it inside. I put his meal on a tray and as much as possible, I don't want to spill anything. 

I stumbled upon his door, thinking if I should enter. He never let me enter here. That's why I have it on my bucket list. Ngayon, wala akong maisip na dahilan kung bakit pinapapasok niya na lang ako bigla. It just doesn't make any sense. Papagalitan niya ba ako? Maybe he's just busy. Right.

I knocked first but he didn't answer so I opened the door. Pagbukas ko ng pinto, I saw him covered in his duvet. Dahan-dahan kong pinatong ang tray sa coffee table niya. 

"Spade?" tawag ko but he didn't answer. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kanya. "Spade, your lunch is ready."

"Leave it." He pulled the duvet up to his shoulder.

I was just about to leave when I noticed his comforter. The air conditioner is not even on. Napalapit ako bigla. 

"Spade? Are you not feeling well?" I asked.