We're Okay

Confessions

Do you ever have those days when you would do anything to just curl into a ball and sleep forever? I have those days all the time, but I can never sleep. There's no reason, I simply can't. I'm incredible at clearing my mind, but no matter what I do, I can't doze off.

That was how I felt when I crashed on my bed after school. I didn't bother to close the door or get under the covers, I just face-planted on my pillow.

After about a couple hours of suffocated breathing, I got up and wondered why Bailey was late. I wasn't complaining. I did want the house to myself, but it was rare for her to be this late.

Laying back down on my side, I examined the wall on my half of the room. All the walls were a plain green, one that Bailey and I had agreed on. The wall above my bed was caked in posters of bands, TV shows, photos, and a few paintings I'd made myself out of boredom.

I noticed a picture that I had meant to take down a while ago. It was a class picture from kindergarten, and had children that I barely recognized. Some had moved away, some were class-skippers. There were a few I could name, but the rest looked so young that I couldn't identify them.

There was one kid that I recognized. He had a wild grin, unlike the majority of the other kids. Even as a child, he had a brisk sort of energy. He liked to have fun and go on adventures. I chuckled a bit at not only his wild attitude, but the way his hair clashed with his red shirt.

"What happened to you, Ira?" I whispered to myself.

He used to be the life of the party. I'd never paid him full attention until he started giving me hell, but everyone had known and liked him. Everyone except my former best friend, who thought he was a nuisance. She'd promptly dated him and moved away. That had always confused me.

   Other than that, I'd never known why he was the way he was. He's been a nice kid for he most part, although we hadn't been friends.

   Everything seemed to change in middle school. If "Jordan" hadn't been lying, I'd guess it was a result of his father's lack of commitment. I couldn't blame him for being angry if that was the case. I could blame him for taking it out on me.

Bailey suddenly came through the front door. She looked particularly tired today. I was tired, too.

"Ben, are you here?" she called.

"Yeah," I replied, making an effort not to sound strained or tired.

"How was your day?"

"Long."

"That sucks. Everything okay?"

"I'm fine. How was yours?"

"Exhausting. I had to stay on the phone with my client for over three hours for a simple bug. How that's even possible, I have no idea."

"I'm almost impressed."

"You sound so tired. Are you sure everything is fine? I don't want you trying to do everything on your own."

"I'm fine, really."

"That's not convincing."

I was starting to get annoyed with her pushiness. We'd never disobeyed the unspoken rule before. I'd claimed the bedroom, so that meant I wanted to be left alone. The small talk was acceptable, but we always give space when it comes to claiming the bedroom on a bad day.

"Ben, come on. You can't seriously just not tell me," she pressed, coming into the bedroom without permission.

"Watch me," I muttered just loud enough to be audible.