We're Okay

Puppets and Forgiveness

   No one moved. I was barely breathing and focusing on keeping the blush from my face.

   God, it was so awkward. I never took my eyes off of his as we begged each other to say the first words to end the long, awkward silence.

   God, it was so awkward.

   "Hi," I said, immediately putting my hand down after a tiny wave.

   "Hi," he replied, not moving or breaking eye contact.

   "Well, I'll leave you two disasters to sort things out," Reed interrupted. I broke the staring contest I was having with Ira to glare daggers into Reed's back as he swaggered out of the room.

   Ira coughed once he had left and I looked back at him. His eyes were now downcast at his shuffling feet.

   I lost the battle to my growing blush and lodged my hands into my hair once more.

   "Do you want me to leave?" Ira asked softly, making my eyes widen.

   "No, no! I just couldn't think of anything to say."

   "Is there anything to say?"

   "Yeah," I paused, but forced myself not to hesitate too long, "there is."

   Ira's blue eyes finally met mine. I didn't want to trick myself, but I was almost certain he looked hopeful.

   "Okay. What do we need to talk about?" he began cautiously.

   "A lot. There's...a lot." We were silent for another moment before I continued, "For starters, I'm sorry for letting Bailey kick you out."

   "No, that's fine. I wasn't welcome."

   "Yeah, because I didn't welcome you into my house. I didn't accept your tutoring and didn't allow you to come over to help me," I vented sarcastically. Ira was silent for another moment, and it was getting to me. "I thought about what you said at the therapy clinic."

   "You did? You sounded pretty certain of yourself."

    "I was, but it was because I was only thinking of Bailey."

   Ira lifted an eyebrow and looked at me skeptically. "So were you not thinking of me?"

   "Yes and no. It's not just you. I wasn't thinking for myself either."

   "What you want?"

   "Yeah."

   "What do you want?"

   I struggled forming the words with my mouth. In my head I had a million different answers to respond to that question, but it took me a while before I could find the best option.

   "I don't want to lose you again, okay? You haven't spoken a word lately, and that's not what I want for me or you."

   Ira stepped up to where I was still standing behind the register. Should I even try denying my heart's racing?

   "What do you mean 'lose me'? You never lost me."

   "I lost Jordan."

   "Isn't Jordan someone else? Someone you actually like?"

   I laughed bitterly, hearing him use my own words against me.

   "The more time I spent with you, the more I realized you two aren't so different."

   He grinned widely at that.

   "You think so?"

   "Yeah. I do."