notion • john murphy

10 - BEGINNINGS

[ BEGINNINGS ]

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Murphy, in most of his time on the ground, had welcomed death. It had been trying to catch him, but he always seemed to be just out of it's grasp.

He had survived too many encounters with death: him being hung; being captured by grounders (which wasn't so horrible until he met the bad ones) the virus that was inserted into him; Bellamy's rage after Murphy had tried to hang him; and finally again, the bad grounders.

But no, Murphy was still breathing. Somehow, he was still alive. His heart was still beating and his mind was still racing. For once in his life, he didn't welcome death, instead he resisted it.

For her.

So when he approached the dropship — somehow limping his way there (he couldn't believe it either) — and pulled aside the make-shift curtains to find a close-to-death Raven pointing a gun at him, his first thought was: Well, another one to add onto the list.

Too many times a gun had been pointed at him, but this time, it felt like the bullet was really going to reach him. He raised his hands in surrender, "Woah! It's okay. Raven, don't. Don't shoot. Please."

She didn't move. "Why not? You shot me." She raised the gun higher, preparing to shoot and Murphy internally panicked. Death had finally caught him.

He didn't even get to say goodbye let alone tell Sayah how he felt—

The gun clicked. Murphy flinched, arms raised, covering his face. Raven tried again. Nothing. Empty.

Murphy let out a sigh as Raven dropped the gun in defeat. John Murphy had slipped through death's fingertips once more.

He limped over to the far wall and collapsed against it. "Yeah. . . I would've shot me too." Murphy commented as he leaned back for support.

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Sayah had been searching for what felt like years. Part of her wanted to give up, head straight for the sea and meet up with Lincoln and Octavia. But the other part of her urged her on.

Murphy. Murphy. Murphy. Her mind wouldn't stop. Her legs ached and her eyelids drooped. But she wasn't giving up.

Sayah thought about going to their ledge but then she stopped herself. If he was hurt — which he most likely was because he was John Murphy — he wouldn't be able to lift himself up without help. Plus, if he did head there, someone could've seen him and grabbed him.

Sayah wracked her mind. What was she doing? What was she going to do? What if he's already dead? What if she's out here looking for a ghost?

She should've went with Lincoln, Sayah realised. Now she's lost basically a day of travel because she decided to think with her heart and not her head.

Thinking like that would get her killed one day. She knew it. Any thinking with your emotions led you to your death.

So she supposed this was it. She decided to choose a boy over her own survival and this was how she was to die. In the woods, alone.