What is Home

Chapter Thirty-Six

Apparently slicing your foot open on glass means you get stuck on crutches until notified otherwise. I sighed as I tried to make my way up the never ending staircase to my room. I heard a laugh from the bottom of the stairs as I made it halfway up.

"Fuck you Pierce." I glared at him as he took two steps at a time to meet me.

"Does someone need some help?" He teased me. I nodded my head, causing him to pick me up and carry me to the top of the stairs. "You're welcome."

"Thanks." I smiled as his face beamed of happiness, a complete switch from just a few hours ago. "I know we should get some sleep but can we talk about," I paused for a moment, "you know?"

"I think that maybe we should wait until you don't have hardcore pain drugs in your system to talk about that Charlee." He placed a kiss on my forehead. "I think I'm going to take myself home. We've both been through it tonight." I reached up running my finger along the cut that had dried up blood surrounding it.

"Goodnight my forever." I pushed my lips against his, not even caring about anything but the boy in my arms. He kissed back just shortly before returning a goodnight and leaving my house.

When I got to my room the journal on my bed was moved. The contents of my deepest and darkest thoughts had been violated. The journal that held my livelihood had been fumbled through and devoured by someone else's mind. I shouldn't have just left it out. I never had before, so why was I so careless to do it just a few long hours before?

I moved the book back to its home on top of the note Pierce had written for me many months ago. The words of that letter forever ingrained into my brain revealing his true self. A self that my peers would never know.

I drifted off to sleep as my pain meds completely took over my mind and body.

I woke up not even three hours later with the sun rise shining through my window. My foot was throbbing, but no pain would ever be as bad as the pain I felt when I was told Pierce was leaving the group home. I could handle any physical pain, but emotional pain would always overrule any other pain.

I got out of bed knowing the pain would never allow me the sleep I needed. I pulled my school books from my backpack throwing them on my bed across the room knowing I couldn't carry them while holding crutches.

My absent mind needed to get caught up on everything I had missed in my previous escape from reality. I ran my fingers over the words that Pierce had scribbled in my notebook, shooting my mind like a rocket to a time where we were each other's every moment.

By the time midafternoon rolled around the house became alive again. Everyone had begun to follow our normal routine as if the horrors of last night didn't occur.

My dad called from the bottom of the stairs signaling lunch was made. We skipped breakfast due to everyone being sound asleep until noon. Well, everyone besides me. I hobbled my way to the staircase that I had already begun to hate. I sat down on my butt sliding down the stairs making the decent easier.

As I hopped into the room I caught the eyes of my siblings. All three of them having no clue of what happened the night before. Not even Reece had known what had unfolded.

My crutches crashed to the floor beside the chair I had just taken a seat in. It caused everyone to jump from the unexpected sound. "Sorry."

Despite my siblings lack of knowledge they didn't question the new accessories I was set to be accompanied by until the foreseeable future. Everyone sat in silence piling food onto their plates. It was honestly killing me with how quiet it was. I had to break the silence that could have sent anyone into a manic state.

"Who touched my journal?" I said trying to hold back my anger but I failed by the expression left on my mother's face.

"I did." She replied without hesitation. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Is that really how you feel Charlee?" A sadness broke as the words croaked trying to block the tears welling behind her eyes.

"I wouldn't write it if I didn't feel it." I said as if it were normal to feel the way I did. Hearing the words fall so effortlessly from my lips had tears burning down her cheeks. "There's no reason to cry. This is normal." I said emotionless.

"It's not normal." My father spoke for his wife. "Why can't you be open with us that you're struggling Charlee?"

"Why do we have to discuss my life in front of everyone?" I snapped back.

"Because you won't open up to us."

"It's not anything you haven't heard before. You just choose to listen to only parts of what I say. If you cared you would have noticed I had stopped eating for a week. You would have noticed my bones sticking out from my skin more than normal. You would have seen the signs." I placed my fork between my lips shoving the macaroni my mother prepared into my mouth. "Those words aren't even the worst of what floods my mind every second of every day." I laughed. "If I told you the images of a gun placed to my head held by my own hand, I'm pretty sure you'd have me sent away for good." I laughed again before sliding more macaroni down my throat. At this point, Lucy and Luca had tears streaming down their faces, but my parents wanted to do this here.

"Charlee stop." Reece said harshly from across the table. I was striking a match and igniting something deep down inside him.

"Why? You all want to know everything my fucked up mind has running inside." I propped my elbows on the table resting my head on my hands

"Because that's how I lost my fucking sister!" Reece slammed his fists to the table rattling the glass that covered it. Reece's chair screeched across the wood floor as he stood up before he slammed his chair back into the table rattling the glass again, causing my body to jump from my chair.