What is Home

Chapter Forty-One

I got myself off the couch and hopped my way into the kitchen where I knew my parents had escaped to. I was ready to apologize to everyone. Pierce always had a way of fully getting through to me. He was my calm.

The sounds of my, or I guess Grayson's, crutches hit the floor with a sticking noise. It caused my parents to look up from twiddling their thumbs. I knew they were listening to the entire conversation Pierce and I just shared, but I was done worrying and caring what they thought.

"I want to apologize. I know it's-" I adjusted myself on the crutches not really knowing how to apologize in the right way. "It might come off as ingenuine after what I just said to you in there. I just don't realize how or what I'm doing. I'm hurting and I don't know how to function when that happens. I build this shell around me and anyone that tries to break in well, that shell just bounces them off and causes damage to them." I sighed. "Unless it's Pierce. He's navigated that shell like it's not damn maze." I stared at the floor, picking at the rubber wrapping the frame where my hands rested.

"We know sweetheart. Why do you think we called him? He knows how to navigate you. We aren't giving up on you just throwing you off on him, but we don't want to upset you even more. We'd rather let someone handle it who can handle it. Someone who won't push your buttons and make things worse."

"I'm sorry I'm so difficult. I want to get better." I directed my attention to them. "I know I've always denied therapy or whatever when you've offered because I hate it. But I think it's what I need. I can't feel like this anymore. I can't rely on a boy to be the person who helps unravel my brain." I hopped closer to the counter that separated us. I reached into the pocket of my sweatpants and set my phone on the counter. "Here's my phone. I know you probably want to talk more but, I need to apologize to Reece and my foot is throbbing. I really need to go lay down."

"Take some medicine and lay down sweetheart. When you get up I want to check your foot to see if we need to get it re-stitched." I nodded my head and left the room, stopping at the bottom of the stairs, dreading the fact that it was going to take me a damn hour to get up them.

I swear it did take me an hour to get to the top of the stairs. I'd know if I didn't give up my phone, but my phone was never important. My parents would have been better off taking away my books or my school work, even my journal, but my phone was just a useless thing to take away for punishment.

Every hop I made toward Reece's room felt like another hop to my impending doom. I honestly had no idea what kind of ticking time bomb I was going to be exposing myself to. I knocked my knuckles lightly on the door in front of me, but no one sounded on the other side.

"Reece, it's Charlee." I knocked again but still I was ignored. "I know you're in there. I'm sorry for what I said. I had no idea. But that's no excuse. I do and say stupid shit. I know I'm not the sister you want and I'm sorry I can't be her. I'm going to try and be better. I can't guarantee I won't do something stupid again, but I'm going to try. Well this is weird talking to a door, so I'm going to go lay down. If it makes you feel any better. Karma's a b-i-t-c-h and my foot is throbbing." I let out a little laugh, more to humor myself than anything. "Thank you for accepting me even though you might not want to sometimes."

I started to make my way to my room when I heard his door click open behind me. "Karma's not the bitch, you are. But aren't we all?" His voice made me look back at him. He rested against the frame of his door a smile spread across his face. "You are one of a kind Charlee."

"That's what they tell me." I smiled back at him. "Sorry."

"I know you are."

Our conversation ended there and I found myself finally entering my roomafter being up way too long on no sleep.