Bittersweet » j.jk ✓

62| Heartbeat

Trigger warning: this chapter contains graphic scenes from a nightmare involving death

"We're okay now, right?" I whisper to Jungkook with my head on his chest.

"Yeah," he adjusts his chin on my head slightly.

"Can you answer me something then?" I ask and immediately hear his heartbeat pick back up.

"Anything."

"Why didn't you tell me about our kiss when it happened? Or at the very least, why did you let me believe our second kiss was actually our first?"

"I didn't want to lose you before I had the chance to have you," he tells me, "If I said anything about that kiss, whether it was initiated by me or by you, we wouldn't be together right now. You'd still hate me if I said it back then."

"Why did you still let me believe it for so long?"

"Firstly, I'm an idiot," he sighs, "but I didn't want to ruin it. Our second kiss was special, you know? At least to me it was."

"It was for me, too."

"Why?" He asks and his heart beats even faster now, "I don't understand my own reason. Normally kisses don't affect me, but..." He trails off and doesn't finish his sentence.

Because that's the night I started truly falling in love with you. "I don't know either."

I hug him tighter, "I forgive you, though. Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah," he kisses my head, "I forgive you."

»»»4:00am»»»

I gasp and sit up in bed, a cold sweat accompanying my body from the horribly graphic nightmare I just had.

"Ellie?" Jungkook murmurs and I feel his hand softly touch my arm.

I flinch at his touch and stare around the dark room, not seeing anything yet because my eyes haven't adjusted.

"Are you okay?" He sits up tiredly.

"Uh," I blink a few times and take the blanket off, "Y-Yeah, I just need some water."

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and stand up, feeling my body still freezing and shivering from my nerves.

I hear Jungkook moving on the bed and then he turns the lamp on, lighting the room up, but not too bright to hurt my eyes.

"Sweetheart," he gets up and follows me to the counter as I'm filling up a glass of water, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry," I turn the tap off and bring the glass to my lips.

"You're shaking," his brows furrow and concern fills his expression. He gently places the backs of his fingers on my cheek and then my forehead, "do you feel sick?"

"No," I sip my water, "I just had a bad dream, it's okay."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He moves a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"I-I don't know," I look down, "I don't remember most of it anyway."

"Alright," his voice softens and his thumb caresses my cheek before he drops his hand, "Do you need anything?"

"I don't think so," I drink more of my water, "thank you."

He nods and sleepily kisses my cheek before going back to bed, "I'll leave the light on for you."

I thank him and lean on the counter while I slowly finish off my glass of water. With one final gulp, I put it down and go to the bathroom.

My hands are still shaking, and when I see myself in the mirror, I look like I just saw a ghost. I do my business and wash my hands, and while I'm doing it, I try to recall what happened in the nightmare.