FOR REAL, billie eilish

seven

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

October 16, 2017

I've been in treatment for a few weeks now and honestly I think I'm putting on a pretty great show. Honestly I'm not excelling in my treatment they way I should be, but I have to bend the truth a little if I ever want to get out of here. So I tell my therapist I feel a little bit better and I've been hearing I may be able to come home within the next two weeks. I would obviously have to do some out patient stuff and continue seeing my therapist, but my recovery process is going pretty smooth in their eyes. Which is fantastic. 

 I've been writing to Billie once a week, since they only let us talk to family on the phone. It's crazy that Billie and I have gone from talking multiple times a day to once a week, sometimes not even that. They allow us about ten minutes to write our letters and send them out which puts a lot of pressure on me to only include the most important stuff. I can't wait to leave this place.

Dear Bil, 

It's been twelve days since you started touring. Your in Brooklyn today ( well maybe not your today, but when I'm writing this you are) and I'm sure you're killing it. I wish I could've seen you kick off your first tour, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I've made tons of progress and I think I might be able to go home a few weeks early which is great! 

I miss you so much and I can't wait until I can get out of here and come visit you. If you still want me too of course. There's so much I want to tell you about this place but I don't have tons of writing time, because I have solo therapy in like five minutes. So I apologize for the messy handwriting. 

It's been so long since I've heard your voice or seen you, I hate that they won't let us have our phones in here it sucks. Finn wrote me, it was a nice surprise, he told me you're doing amazing with your performances and he's really proud of you, so am I. Your doing great Eilish don't ever doubt it.  

I'll see you soon, hopefully. I love and miss you so much! 

Your number one,

Jess. 

Once I'm done with my letter I stick the stamp in the corner of the envelope and put it in the box to be sent out. Now we wait, Billie will probably get it sometime in the next week or so, seeing as I sent it to her house instead of where ever she is on the road since she only has a few shows left. Bil was the first to write me which I found very comforting, I had a rough time acclimating to this place and her reaching out to me telling me it would be okay made it a little easier. 

Billie's Point of View 

I'm in New York tonight which means I only have three shows left and I couldn't be more excited to go home. I love being on stage and seeing everyone in the crowd, but I hate touring. Does that make sense? That shit sucks and the fact that Jess is stuck in treatment makes it suck even more. 

I've been struggling with a lot of stuff but I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about it. I mean why should I even be struggling? My life is great right now, there's nothing outwardly wrong. It's all in my head. I can't tell Jessica, she's already got a shit ton going on and my family will just be worried. It's hard to pretend and put on a happy face when you feel the complete opposite. 

"Hey Bil, we go on in ten." Finneas says poking his head in through the door of the green room. "Yeah, okay." I say giving him a thumbs up. He runs his hand through his reddish hair, walking towards me taking a seat next to me on the couch I was sitting on. "What's going on?" He asks, obviously knowing something is off. "Nothing, I'm fine." I say to him, unconvincingly, no honesty in my statement. "C'mon Bil. I know you." He says, trying his best to get me to tell him.