FOR REAL, billie eilish

thirty

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

March 15, 2021

As Billie approached Jess, she counted each step. It was like she couldn't get there fast enough but at the same time her felt as if she was walking at the speed of molasses. The blue eyed girl had a million and one thoughts running through her head and she didn't know what to expect when she reached Jess. 

"Ex girlfriend on your six." Gracie whispers, causing Jess to jerk her head around to the empty space behind her. Once Jess saw Billie approaching, her heart started beating ten times faster. No matter where their relationship stood, Bille never failed to make Jessica's heart beat faster then the speed of light. 

"Hey Jess, the show was great. Really, you're so fucking talented." Billie says once she reaches her ex. She decided to test the waters before she went full throttle and poured her heart out. 

"Thanks. I really appreciate it." Jess replies with a tight lipped smile, causing Billie to visibly gulp. "Uh we should talk." Billie suggests, "not like talk talk, but." She corrects herself, causing Jess to slightly nod.

 Conan and Gracie were getting slightly uncomfortable, before excusing themselves they asked Jess if they were still on for a celebration. 

"Yeah, just give me a few." She responds absentmindedly, already growing tired from the evenings past events. Jess decided to walk Billie over to a more secluded spot so they weren't chatting in a big empty space for all to see. 

"Look, I don't wanna get into a fight or anything right now. Today was tough and I just need time to breath." Jess says rationally. Although Billie was expecting a cold shoulder from Jess, she didn't sense any type of anger from her. She just seemed tired. 

"I know," Billie says softly, clearing her throat before speaking again. "I could tell you were struggling, even before we bumped into each other." She continues, and Billie swore she saw a small smile ghost Jess's lips. 

"I swear to god, even now you still know me better than anyone else." Jess responds, her eyes already welling up with tears. "Ugh, stop crying Jess. Don't be such a little bitch." She says to herself laughing. "Now isn't the time for crazy emotions." She adds, laughing again. 

"We need to talk at some point. About everything, but now clearly isn't the time or place." Billie explains, all she wants to do is touch Jess. Only for a second. "How about I call you?" Jess suggests, causing Billie to nod in agreement. 

"I don't have your number anymore." Jess says in a sad tone. That sentence alone was like a punch in the face to Billie that shattered her nose. It wasn't the fact that Jess deleted her number, it was the principal of it. "But if you would've called, I'd know it was you." She adds, and all of a sudden Billie's nose was healed. A bandaid placed over the top sealed with a kiss from Jess. Metaphorically, of course. 

"I'll call you tomorrow." Bille says, a sweet smile gracing her lips. Lips that Jess so desperately wanted to kiss. It seemed as if both girls were in the same boat. All they wanted to do was run back into each others arm's and forget every feeling of pain felt in the past ten months. They knew, however that wasn't a solution to the issues at hand. Billie and Jess needed to have heart to heart, and discuss all the things that went wrong. They needed to communicate. 

"Tomorrow works." Jess confirms, and something about her statement seemed to end the conversation. They kept it short and civil, which was the goal. Now they had to get through tomorrow, which would be the ultimate test. 

Jess looks over Billie's shoulder and waves Finneas and Claudia over. "It's safe now." She shouts across the room with a laugh. "Haha." Finneas says, void of humor. "Any progress?" Claudia questions casually. "What do you think?" Jess asks sarcastically.