Bad At Love . KTH [Completed]

XIII

Seoyoung's POV 

Taehyung's body froze when I mentioned her name. 

"W-who?" 

"You said something about a situation with 'Hyeri,'" I repeated.

"Ah... That," Taehyung said, somewhat nervously. I sighed, walked over to Taehyung and offered him my hand. He looked up with large puppy eyes. 

"Well, c'mon," I said, gesturing to my waiting hand. Staring at my hand like it was some sort of noose, he hesitantly takes it as I lead him back to the bedroom. Walking to the other side, I strip into my night clothes (just a long t-shirt) and wiggle under the covers, patting the empty side. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Taehyung gives me a weird look but complies. Taking off his top, he settles beside me in just his boxers. 

"What are you doing?" He asks quietly. 

"Making it more comfortable. Isn't it easier to tell me about that Hyeri like this?" I ask, tracing lines across his arm. Taehyung gulps but snuggles into my touch. 

"She... She was my girlfriend for a period of time. I needed a distraction, something to fill the void that you left. She was a unique girl. Hyeri ran a business you see, a beauty brand but also an underground drug operation, the best stuff you can get really. An amazing chemist, why she has such great products..." Seeing my disapproving looks, Taehyung continues quickly. "And well, I sort of fell in love with her, I guess, not real love, desperate love. I was so in need of someone, perhaps I had jumped to the only woman I had some form relationship with. I invited her to move in with me, gave her everything she wanted, all in exchange for her love." Taehyung's voice grows quiet as he gently rubs my waist. "Then she changed. It wasn't enough. All the money, all the jewelry, all the riches, she wanted more. She started getting hooked on drugs. I-I couldn't help myself. I so desperately wanted her love, I gave her everything she wanted, but it still wasn't enough."

I paused him, saying, "So that garden you have, you keep it alive in memory of her, don't you?" He nods. Cautiously, I ask, "Do you still miss her?" 

Taehyung sighs and thinks for a moment before answering, "I've moved on. I don't think I miss her, but I think about her, a lot. How,- ridiculous as it sounds- abusive she was. I was just too despondent to recognize that what we had, had turned toxic." The first tears I witnessed had risen in Taehyung's eyes. This really was a hard memory for him, wasn't it? "One night, we had a huge argument. She said she hated me, and that no matter what I gave her, her heart would still remain empty. There was no way for me to fill it, she couldn't even fill it herself. For the first time, I yelled at her, completely losing my temper. We fought until she ran to her room, reduced to tears. I-I didn't know what I had done u-until Jimin, h-he-" His throat tightens as a tear rolls down his cheek. "He went into her room the next morning and found her dead on the floor. She had ODed on three different drugs that night. It wasn't even ODing. All those drugs put together were poison, suicide." Taehyung's tears had started flowing freely now, as I gently massage his hair. "I-It's all my fault. I should have- I should have done something."

"Sh sh sh sh," I said, bringing him into a hug, snaking my arms around his neck. Taehyung held on tightly to my waist as he wept. "It's not your fault, none of that was your fault. You can't blame yourself for her actions, hm?"

"B-but, I should have gotten her help, mental help. Then, m-maybe she wouldn't have made those choices."

"No, it's not your fault. Nobody is at fault here. You did everything you could to satisfy her, but it just wasn't enough. Even if you had done something, it still wouldn't have been enough for her. She was too far gone, Tae. Some people are just too far gone," I whisper. 

"A-am I too far gone?" I frown and pull away and stare him straight in the eyes. 

"Tae, you are not too far gone," I whisper. 

"B-but what if I am? I've killed so many people, done even more treacherous things to those alive. How can I ever be forgiven?" He said in pure agony and hatred to himself. Seeing him like this broke my heart. 

"Tae, listen to me." Pressing his lips together, he forced himself to stop crying. "You are an amazing person. Even though you've done bad things, that's not who you are. All of us make mistakes, but we learn from them and change. It's never too late to change, Tae. Never." 

"But, how? How can I change?" I shrug, patting his hand. 

"You can start by letting go of this gang business, focus more on Muse." Seeing the look of apprehension on his face from the mention of letting go of this gang made me feel there was something more to this connection. 

"I-I can't."

"Why is that?"

"Because it's my legacy, my family's history. I would be a disgrace to my entire ancestry if I were the cause of the downfall of Nightingale," He said, worried but ashamed. I could tell he wanted change, but this blood connection was too much of a burden. A burden he felt he had to bear. 

"What if you handed it off to someone else? Like Jimin?" But Taehyung shakes his head. 

"He doesn't want it. I've tried talking to him before, but he won't," Taehyung explained. Sighing, a silence fell over us as we both took time to mull things over, then, Taehyung suddenly spoke up. "I guess I'm just bad at love," he whispered. I shake my head and brush a few strands of hair off his forehead. 

"Being bad at love is better than being good at false love. I'd rather you love me, for real and suck at it than be good at playing my heart. Don't you think?"He didn't say anything, a faraway look in his eyes. I cuddled up to him, resting my hands on his chest. "It's okay, Tae. It's alright. You don't have to do anything right now. Let's just sleep, hm? It is our first night together," I say with a faint teasing smile, trying to cheer him up. 

It seemed to have done the trick as Taehyung sniffles and smiles, saying, "Right. You sure you just wanna sleep?"

- 

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