"Give me a heads up here." He rubbed his face.
"To what? I don't know." She said, blindsided by his question.
"Are you leaving him? Taking the gym? Running off?" He rapid fired the questions at her.
"I don't know, no and no." She shook her head.
"Things were fine—what changed?" He looked hurt too.
"Things were not fine! Not since Vegas, maybe before Vegas. I can't—everything can't ride on me, I can't carry everything anymore!"
"You can't just drop him!" Kevin said in a tone louder than was normal for him.
"Ugh—I'm not—I don't know." She turned away and went upstairs, all the locks were turned and she undid them one by one.
"Go away Ronan!" he yelled angrily.
"It's me." She pushed open the door. She was expecting to walk into a tornado of broken dishes, furniture, her clothing spewed about, but it looked cleaner than ever. He was just sitting on the couch staring at the blank TV, the only thing she noticed were his knuckles, bruised and red, some scabbing. She dropped her bags at the door and sat next to him on the couch. He turned and looked at her. Those worried eyes.
"Hi" she said, wanting to wrap him in her arms, rub his head and love him.
"Hi." He kissed her cheek quickly. "I'm not cancelling the fight Livvy." He said stubbornly.
"I know. I didn't think you would." That was a lie, she was hoping he would change his mind. She pulled off her zip up and lay it over the arm of the couch.
"Do you not love me anymore?" He asked with a painful expression.
"Of course I love you! I've always loved you. I still love you. It's not about how much I love you. It's about growing and it's about me, and I can't watch you hurt yourself like this, knowing the risk." He leaned down on his elbows.
"This is how it has always worked, this is me and you and what we do—" He stuttered on his words, so he stopped talking, frustrated.
"It's not working anymore Benny. I love you more than anyone in this universe and I'd never want to hurt you, but I'm—I can't hold it all together anymore." She tried to say it in a way that didn't sound bad, but was there really a way?
He jumped right on the defensive, as she probably would have done too.
"So I'm a burden?"
"No, I didn't say that." She said, trying to stay calm, the air around them was quickly filling with static and tension. "We fell in love when we were twelve years old, probably sooner, you fought for me and I took care of you, of everything else, but we aren't those kids anymore, not that it wasn't the best fifteen years. I don't know—" She was rambling now.
"Who else is there for each other than us? Who can go through what we did and still be here? Be whole? You kept saying to me you weren't going anywhere."
Olivia forced his arms apart and curled into a ball on his lap, wrapping her arms around him, wanting him to feel the love she had inside for him.
"All this started after you ran down to Miami." He looked down to her, their eyes close together.
"I didn't run off to Miami." He scoffed, "Okay I did, for business."
"This is all because of that surfer." He said angrily. Olivia hastily got up off of his lap, tender moment over.
YOU ARE READING
I choose me.
Ficción General"I choose me" follows the story of Olivia Granger , her life from an orphan, to an athlete and business owner, to a woman whose life turns in a direction she never ever thought it would go, a direction she never even knew could exist. It is a hear...
